Oops, I've Done It Again!

Oops, I've done it again.  I've managed to make a complete ass of myself at yet another school assembly! (See my profile picture if you don't believe me!)  I can't even begin to count the number of times I have made a fool of myself in front of the student body.  I just know that I'm destined to laugh at myself at every turn.

My earliest memory of school assembly humiliation was in my junior year of high school.  (I'm sure there is a plethora of earlier experiences, but this is the one I remember.)  Lori McQuillen and I were the popper scoopers for the donkey basketball game.  She and I wore these ridiculous clown costumes and walked around the gym floor scooping the poop in front of our peers and community! I just remember laughing my butt off and having a great time.  Now how many 17 year old high school girls do you know who would willingly set themselves up to be laughed at for years to come?!?!?  I guess my fate was sealed that night;  I would act the clown in numerous events in the future.

In my 25 years of teaching I have done a variety of embarrassing activities in the name of education.  Several years ago I kissed a pig for charity.   The premise was to vote for your favorite teacher.  I voted ($20) for Mrs. Berginnis to kiss the pig.  She won and planted a big one of that pig!  Then the tables were turned and I got called down because I had donated the most money!  I kiss Sophie and Stormy every night, so I was a pro at kissing animals!  For breast cancer awareness I was pied in the face.  Once again people could pay for chances to smash food in my face.  My little buddy Seth won.  Being 6 years old, he didn't quite understand the concept and wouldn't let go of the pie plate.  I sucked some whipped cream for a while!!  Of course his 4 year old brother cried because he didn't get to do it.  So being a good "Aunt", I let him have his turn!  I think I smelled like Cool Whip for a couple of days.  I have been subjected to many dancing competitions throughout the years.  I can't dance.  I have no rhythm.  Nothing like a middle aged, chubby girl trying to do dance to a hip hop song!  Then, of course, there was the "Pimp My Teacher" assembly!  It was a take off of the MTV program, "Pimp My Ride."  I was transformed into a biker babe! The kids spiked my hair and dressed me in leather chaps.  I was quite the sight!  I got to play air guitar to George Thurgood's, "Bad to the Bone" while walking down the aisle of the auditorium.  Of course I played it up and was a real "badass".  I was rocking those chaps.  Luckily it was in my skinner days!

So, what did I do today to top the biker babe persona?  My good friend, Beth Adkins, and I were selected to be cheerleaders for the senior class  in the Operation Feed Dodgeball Tournament.  Well, let's be honest here.  I was asked to do it and I conned  Beth into doing it with me.  Big mistake on her part!!  I decided we need to have a play on words so we dressed as bodacious senior citizens.  Once again, refer to my profile picture.  We wore pink nightgowns and wore curlers in our hair.   We topped of our outfit with  trouser socks and pink slippers!  We also made quite the entrance!  We arrived with Beth pushing me in a wheel chair!  As if being naturally loud isn't enough, I intensified the event with props.  We had air horns, silly string, hula hoops and candy.  We were the center of attention at all times.  We even led the group in a rousing round of the human wave!

After each assembly I always say never again.  But I know that I'm lying!  I will always put myself out there when the kids ask me to.  I believe it is important to teach them the importance of laughter and being able to make fun of one's self.  I know that a sense of humor has gotten me through some of the darkest moments of my life.   Let's face it, we all feel better after laughing our asses off!   Nothing like a good snorting laugh to lift your spirits.

Thanks to Beth for playing along!  She had no idea what she was in for until she came to my room at 1:30 today.  Too late to back out then!  You're a rock star.  Thanks

Until the next embarrassing moment....

Make Every Day Count
Denise