In The Closet

Last week I was called a Redneck Barbie!  My long time hairdresser, Ryan Paxton, called me that as he was turning me into a red head.  (Yes, Ryan, I just called you out on the world wide web!  I told you it was only a matter of time!)At the time we had a great laugh.  A couple of days later I got to thinking about it.  What exactly is a Redneck Barbie?  And is being called one a compliment?  

To me a redneck is a rebel flag waving, deer eating, monster truck driving, dip rubbing, camouflage wearing, gun toting lover.  I am none of those things.  I cry every time I hear the Star-Spangle Banner.  You will never catch me eating anything found living in the wild. Oh wait, I lied!  I do eat morel mushrooms when friends are willing to share!  I drive a convertible.  I don't rub anything except for my dog's belly each night. I don't own anything that even resembles camouflage or a Carhardtt.  Now, to be honest, if it came in pink I might reconsider.  I don't own a gun because I'm afraid of them.  In fact, I have this reoccurring nightmare about guns. However, my nephew, the Columbus City policeman, has agreed to take me to the firing range to teach me  how to shoot one. But this is part of my bucket list and fodder for a different post! So based on my definition of a redneck, I can say unequivocally  that I am not a Redneck Barbie.

Ryan is right,  though. (Yes Ryan, I just said you are right on the world wide web! )  I am some kind of a Barbie. I just think Ryan has confused  being a tomboy with a redneck.  So after much consideration, I have decided that I am a In the Closet Barbie.  You see,  inside of my sweatshirt, tennis shoes, blue jean exterior, there is a beauty queen wanting to come out.  But for whatever reason, I just can't let her out.

I have many diva traits.  I love purses!  Some girls have 50 pairs of shoes.  Not me, I have purses!!  Now I don't own any Coaches, or Vera Wangs, or Kate Spades.  Well, not real ones anyways!!!  I'm easily bored with purses and change them out every 6 weeks or so.  So, I can't purchase a $400 purse to only use for 6 weeks, right?!?!?!  I love bling!  I think an outfit is not complete without baubles hanging from my ears.  I don't go out of the house without my earrings.  I will be dressed in a worn out pair of sweats, but my ears will sparkle!  I love Hollywood.  I am obsessed with the clothes they wear.  Nothing I like more than watching award shows just to see all of the pretty clothes and jewelry.  In fact I have a couple of Hollywood websites that I check out everyday.  I have to admit that I always cast my votes for 'who wore it best' surveys whenever I come across one!  I love fashion.  I don't wear it but I love it.  I can sit at Easton for hours and just watch people walk by.  I love to see what is new and cool. Just tonight I spent 30 minutes in line at Giant Eagle.  I amused myself by looking at all of the fashionable coats, scarves, boots, and other apparel.  People probably think I'm a creeper because I check out their outfits!!!

So, why don't I come out and announce my inner diva to the world?  It's simple.  I am  fat,  cheap and lazy!  It takes a nice body to find clothes that fit right.  I'm overweight, and I can't seem to find clothes that look killer on me.  If I get them to fit at the waist then it is too big in the butt.  If it fits in the shoulders, it is too long on my torso.  I could go on, but you get the picture.  Sales ladies are always saying that I can get stuff altered.  In there lies problem #2...I'm cheap!  If I had the money to spend on clothes I would!!!  But the truth of matter is I just don't have the money to spend on clothing.  I have too many hobbies (quilting, scrapbooking, card making, reading, gardening) that demand a portion of my wages each pay day!  May be someday when my house, car and VISA bill are paid off, I can start building up my wardrobe.  Lastly, I'm lazy!  I know to look that good, I have to be willing to spend time doing my hair and make up.  I'm going to be honest..as if I am anything but, right?  If I can't be showered, dried, clothed and gussied up within 30 minutes, it's not going to happen.  I love my sleep too much!  It also explains why my hair is always short too!  I can dry it in 5 minutes or less!

So, I guess for now I will keep  my Barbie self in the closet.  I hope someday to  unleash her on to the world.  Until that day, I will just keep to my tomboy ways enjoying my baubles, bling and purses while sporting my  otherwise tomboy attire! Every now and then I will let her out to play on special occasions.  Then put her back until she is ready to face the world full time!  Yep, I guess I you can call me a In The Closet Barbie!

Make Every Day Count....
Denise

Taking Inventory

Saying an eternal good bye to family and friends is never easy.  This Christmas we had to pay our last respects to two fine men who have been in our lives for the last 25 years.  The friendships and memories will be treasured for ever.

With such losses just a few weeks of one another, I find myself doing a personal inventory of my life. As we drove away from the funeral home, I thought to myself 'if my life should end tonight, what would I want people to say about me?'   You all know what I mean.  Have you ever been to calling hours and not heard people reminiscing about the deceased?  You hear such things as 'she was a great person', or 'he knew how to make people laugh' or 'she was a fountain of neighborhood knowledge' or he was a great father.'    It just got me thinking.

I remember a conversation I had with my grandfather many, many years ago.  I don't remember the circumstances or the date, but I remember we were talking about funerals and calling hours.  At one point he said to me, ' It's not the quantity of people who come to pay their respects, it's the quality of the people that's important.'  I remember asking him what he meant.  He replied, 'Which would you prefer: 100 people who are there to make sure you really are dead because you were unkind, or 10 people who admired you for your positive contribution in their lives?"  At the time it really didn't have an impact on me as I was a self-absorbed teenager who was never going to die.

As I've aged, and with perfection I might add!, I have been taking my grandfather's observations to heart. In the last 10 years, I have really strived to be a better person to  myself, family, friends and community.  It is that whole paradigm shift that occurs when you reach 35-40!  One day I just woke up and decided that I needed more purpose to my life.  I needed to make a difference.  

So, the question....what do I want people to say about me?...begs to be answered.  My reply is one simple word...giver.  I want people to say I was a giver of truth.  I have never shied away from sharing my experiences with others.  If you read my blog, you know that nothing is off limits.  I believe we can all learn from one and another if we are willing to share the good, the bad and the ugly.  My willingness to share has sometimes caused me grief, but the good always outweighs the negative.  I want people to say I was a giver of laughter.  I love to make people laugh with my stories and observations!  Rick says I can take a 30 second story and turn it into a 5 minute long dissertation.  And that's okay with me.  I love to laugh and love to hear others laugh too.  I want people to say I was a giver of comfort.  I can't even begin to count the number of quilts and cards I've made and given away over the last 25 years.  It is my unique way of expressing my love, my sympathies, my concern, my laughter, and my thoughts with others.  I want people to say I was a giver of time.  I enjoy volunteering my time whether it is with an organization, or as the National Honor Society advisor, or as a teacher, or just as an individual.  There is something so powerful in knowing you are helping others that make you all of your problems seem to disappear.  And I want people to say I was a giver of friendship.  My friends are one of the greatest blessings in my life.  I hope that I am as good of a friend to mine as they are to me.

The question has been answered, but it only creates a new one.  Am I the giver I want others to see in me?  I hope so!  I know that everyday I set out to be the best person I can be.  I also know that everyday I fall short of that goal.  But I genuinely believe that I am a better person today then I was yesterday.  Being a giver isn't something I strive to be just so people will have nice things to say about me after I leave this world.  I do it because I want to make a difference in the lives of others before I leave this world.

Make Everyday Count....
Denise