Are You Kidding Me?

We all have our quirky pet peeves.  I'd also venture to guess that we all have more than one.  I know that I do.  So, what has my panties in a bunch tonight?  Toliet paper!  Or more precisely, changing a roll of TP.  You see my pet peeve is that it seems that I'm the only one in universe that ever has to replace the Charmin.  Point in case:  I'm only one in my house with the mechanical aptitude to remove the empty cardboard tube and replace it with a 400 2-ply sheet double roll.  For whatever reason, a new roll can find it's way to the back of the toilet, but never on the dispenser!  It's one of those things that send me from point 0 to 100 in two seconds or less.

Every time I have to change it, I am reminded of a Mad About You episode.  Every show began with a snippet of married commentary.  In the episode  I'm thinking of has Jamie coming out of the bathroom with a new roll of Charmin and the tube dispenser.  She says nothing!  She only stands in front of Paul and simply slips the toilet paper onto the tube.  Then she asks, "Any questions?" I remember laughing my ass off!  And to be honest, years later I reenacted the same scene for Rick.  It didn't change anything, but I felt better.  As I sit here blogging, Rick is across from me glaring.  He wants it known that he changes it more often than I give him credit. Okay, so maybe he does change it occasionally, but the ratio is definitely lopsided.  His rationale for the frequency of roll changing is in correlation with the amount of TP I use.  He says that I use half a roll every time I go to the bathroom.  Therefore, I need to change it more often!  Whatever!  I very seldom finish a roll so that blows that theory, right?  The discussion deteroriated from there, but I'll save that for another post.

I guess this is what makes it a pet peeve...it doesn't just happen at home!  I spend a lot of time at my friend Barb's quilt shop.  I am  always amused by the number of times I have to change the roll there!  Now, it's not like at home where I find an empty roll.  I actually find myself using the last sheet.  Therefore, I must replace it with a new one.  My mother did raise me to be considerate of others!  Of course, you can also hear me from inside the bathroom walls yelling, "Are you kidding me?"  Barb just giggles.  She knows me and my pet peeve!  Of course my suspicious mind wonders if there is a possible ruse going on.  May be she and Rosie use the TP sparingly when they know I'm coming out.  They are brilliant and great jokesters!

This week Barb and I went on a quilting retreat in Amish country.  We had a wonderful time and got a lot of work done.  I finished a couple of UFOs (Unfinished Projects).  One was 3 years in the making and the other was 4 years.   But TP karma struck again on the second day.  I'm sure the rooms next door to us wondered what the hell was going on in our room.  I let out a blood curling 'Are you kidding?" yell.  Even in a 4-star hotel in Berlin, Ohio I had to change the roll.  Side note:  Why do hotels and businesses use paper thin TP and Kleenex in their bathrooms?  You have to use twice as much paper to get the job done!  I just shake my head.  Out of respect for Barb and my mother's raising, I changed it and went about my day.

Well, on Wednesday Barb and I headed home after our 3-day vacay.  When I got out of the car,  I raced to the bathroom because I had to pee really bad!  I guess 3 bottles of water, 2 cups of coffee and 1 Diet Pepsi will do that do you.  Can you guess?  That's right!  I finished my business and reached for the Charmin.   Nope, there is nothing that says welcome home more than an empty toilet paper dispenser!  LOL!  I don't make this stuff up folks!!!!!!

Make Every Day Count
Denise

PS:  I woke up this morning to find a new roll of TP on the dispenser!  What a great way to start the last Friday of summer vacation.  I guess humiliating your husband on the world wide web does have its benefits!