I'M BAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!

Dear Readers

After a 9 month hiatus, I'm glad to say that I'm back in the blogging world again.  I have missed all of you and hope you missed me as well.  So, where I have been you ask?  After all, I've been right in Newark/Heath area this whole time.  Let's make it clear, I did not have a child!!!!!  (Nine months, it get it?)  Well,  friends and family, I took an unplanned journey into to self-reflection, priority evaluation, and all around inward soul searching. Let's call the 2013 Reality Olympics.   I hit the magically age of 51 and decided I needed to figure out how the second half of my life was going to play out.  It happens when you get old.  At some point in your life, reality bitch slaps you in the face and shouts, "Girlfriend, it's time to face the facts, digest the successes, learn from the failures, and map out the future."  Normally, I would have taken you all long with me on the journey, but sometimes we all need some solitude in order to accept, heal and grow. So I made an unconscious decision to finally shut my mouth and work things out internally.   I've done that and now I'm ready to open up my life of twists and turns, quirkiness and goofiness, and pains and happiness once again.  I have a whole 9 months of experiences and stories that I am dying to share with you.  The ideas  are running amok in my head, just begging to be told.

So where do we go from here?  Since it's the new year, I guess I will start with a reflection of 2013 and the  5 most important things I've learned.

1.  Listen to your soul.  It knows you better than anyone else.  We all have that inner place that knows the truth about who we are, where we've been,  what we need and where we are going.   For some reason, we tend to fight it and/or ignore it.  I think we ignore it because it can be so painful to acknowledge and accept that truth.   The thing is it is always right and if we just listened to it in the first place, we could save ourselves so much time, grief and pain. However, we can't face it until we are ready.

2.  God will always give us what we need, when we need it.  See #1.

3.  At your lowest, you find out who your true friends are.  I have always said there are levels of friendship.  There are acquaintances.  There are fun friends.  There are time period friends.  There are reoccurring friends. And then, there are the no holds barred friends.  When you find your life in upheaval and transition, you find out who are those no holds barred friends.  They are there for you no matter what.  They see you at your weakest and pick you up and dust you off.  They tell you the truth whether you want to  hear it or not.  They help you rebuild who you are.  They help make you a better person.  To all of my no holds barred friends, and you know who you are, I want to say from the depths of my heart, thanks so much for everything you have done for me last year.  You've supported me through thick and thin and I appreciate it.  I hope 2014 brings more laughter, happiness and adventures than sorrow, sadness and grief.

4.  Laughter is the best medicine.  I love to laugh.  I love to laugh at intelligent humor (The Big Bang Theory).  I love to laugh at a well told story.  I love to laugh at my friends's expense!  Most importantly, I love to laugh at myself.  Even in the depths of despair, if you can laugh at yourself, you will be okay.  I do apologize to everyone who has to be subjected to my laughter.  When I'm not doing my "fake laugh" as my friends calls it,  and doing my "real laugh", I'm loud and usually start snorting! But I'll never apologize for finding humor in all situations.  It has to be better than being the uptight, fun police!

5.  You never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have.  Cliche, I know, but it's the truth.  I always thought I was this independent, take no shit, tough woman who could handle anything.  Nothing and no one would ever bring me to a place of doubt.  I was wrong.  When you find yourself in a place of unfamiliarity, you find out exactly how much substance you have.  I still have my moments of doubt and fear, but I also know that a deep breath and determination will bring me out of it.

So as I snuggle in my bed protecting myself from the Polar Vortex outside, I dream of the new adventures that await me in 2014.  I know there are going to be periods of happiness, sadness, goofiness and craziness. I welcome them all.  I'll take with me the lessons learned in 2013, and use them to help me face what comes my way in the new year.  And lucky you, I will take you with me.  Hold on because you never know what is going to happen next.

Make Every Day Count,
Denise