Taking Inventory

Saying an eternal good bye to family and friends is never easy.  This Christmas we had to pay our last respects to two fine men who have been in our lives for the last 25 years.  The friendships and memories will be treasured for ever.

With such losses just a few weeks of one another, I find myself doing a personal inventory of my life. As we drove away from the funeral home, I thought to myself 'if my life should end tonight, what would I want people to say about me?'   You all know what I mean.  Have you ever been to calling hours and not heard people reminiscing about the deceased?  You hear such things as 'she was a great person', or 'he knew how to make people laugh' or 'she was a fountain of neighborhood knowledge' or he was a great father.'    It just got me thinking.

I remember a conversation I had with my grandfather many, many years ago.  I don't remember the circumstances or the date, but I remember we were talking about funerals and calling hours.  At one point he said to me, ' It's not the quantity of people who come to pay their respects, it's the quality of the people that's important.'  I remember asking him what he meant.  He replied, 'Which would you prefer: 100 people who are there to make sure you really are dead because you were unkind, or 10 people who admired you for your positive contribution in their lives?"  At the time it really didn't have an impact on me as I was a self-absorbed teenager who was never going to die.

As I've aged, and with perfection I might add!, I have been taking my grandfather's observations to heart. In the last 10 years, I have really strived to be a better person to  myself, family, friends and community.  It is that whole paradigm shift that occurs when you reach 35-40!  One day I just woke up and decided that I needed more purpose to my life.  I needed to make a difference.  

So, the question....what do I want people to say about me?...begs to be answered.  My reply is one simple word...giver.  I want people to say I was a giver of truth.  I have never shied away from sharing my experiences with others.  If you read my blog, you know that nothing is off limits.  I believe we can all learn from one and another if we are willing to share the good, the bad and the ugly.  My willingness to share has sometimes caused me grief, but the good always outweighs the negative.  I want people to say I was a giver of laughter.  I love to make people laugh with my stories and observations!  Rick says I can take a 30 second story and turn it into a 5 minute long dissertation.  And that's okay with me.  I love to laugh and love to hear others laugh too.  I want people to say I was a giver of comfort.  I can't even begin to count the number of quilts and cards I've made and given away over the last 25 years.  It is my unique way of expressing my love, my sympathies, my concern, my laughter, and my thoughts with others.  I want people to say I was a giver of time.  I enjoy volunteering my time whether it is with an organization, or as the National Honor Society advisor, or as a teacher, or just as an individual.  There is something so powerful in knowing you are helping others that make you all of your problems seem to disappear.  And I want people to say I was a giver of friendship.  My friends are one of the greatest blessings in my life.  I hope that I am as good of a friend to mine as they are to me.

The question has been answered, but it only creates a new one.  Am I the giver I want others to see in me?  I hope so!  I know that everyday I set out to be the best person I can be.  I also know that everyday I fall short of that goal.  But I genuinely believe that I am a better person today then I was yesterday.  Being a giver isn't something I strive to be just so people will have nice things to say about me after I leave this world.  I do it because I want to make a difference in the lives of others before I leave this world.

Make Everyday Count....
Denise