Saying Yes to the Dress

I'm getting married in October.  I first fell in love with Mark when I was 15 and he was 18.  Now 38 years later, here we are taking the plunge into matrimony.  With that comes planning a wedding.  My first marriage was a lovely ceremony of 4. It was exactly what I wanted.  This time around I want a wedding.  What I don't understand is why?

You see as a little girl I never dreamed of my wedding.  I never saw myself as a bride much less a gown.  I found it all just stupid and a waste of money.  In fact , well into my 40s I even hated going to weddings.  The only thing worse for me was a baby shower!  I still remember the Saturday about 10 years ago when I had to go to both on the same day!  Let's say a lot of wine was consumed at the reception.  To be honest, I just don't think I'm a sentimental kind of gal  when it comes to these time honored traditions.

And then something changed!  When I got my dissolution and moved into my apartment, I started to  watch "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC.  In fact, my neighbor Ashley, Bear-Bear (her Newfie) and I would spend Friday nights watching hours of SYTTD, drinking wine and embroidering/knitting. I have no idea why?!?!?! I wasn't seeing anyone much less looking to get married again.  We would sit and laminate about our single hood woes and drink more wine.

Fast forward:  Well, this Monday all of those episodes came in handy.  When my vacation to Europe got cancelled, I decided to use the opportunity to going dress shopping. (See blogpost Teachable Moments)  I had extra money to spend and the time off.  I assembled my posse:  June, my future mother-in-law; Toni, my friend and wedding officiant; and Shelly, one of 3 bridesmaids. Off we went to Universe Bridal and Prom in West Lafayette, Ohio.

It was crazy!  We met with Michelle our personal bridal aficionado!  She gave us the lay of the land and sent us off into one of many wedding dress rooms!  Now you would think a self proclaimed SYTTD junkie would know exactly what she wanted!  Oh hell no!  I had no idea other than I want to look good and I want to take his breath away when I walked down the aisle.  As I stood in the sea of ivory, I started to have an anxiety attack!  I felt as if I was being suffocated by miles of tulle, lace and organza!  I finally looked at my posse and said, "Girls, pick 3-4 choices each!  I can't do this!"  Those girls went to work!  Next thing I knew, I had about 15 dresses to try on.

Now girls, listen up.  Trying on dresses requires Herculean strength!  Some of those dresses weigh pounds!  And let's be honest, plus size dresses have to be heavier because there's more fabulousness to cover! At one point I thought I may have torn my rotartor's cuff!  Ouchy!  And then there was the unfortunate trapped in the dress situation!  Ladies, if you find yourselves dress shopping, please be sure to check the size of the dress you are putting on before sliding it over your head!  If you're trying to squeeze your size 16 body into a size 12 dress, it's going to  go all bad!  It caused me to have a second anxiety attack when I couldn't disengage from it!  I thought I was going to live that damn dress for the rest of my life!  Thank goodness for Shelly!  She came to my rescue and freed me from my prison.  Unfortunately poor Shelly will never be able to unseen what she saw in order to release me from the sea of organza!

After many auditions, THE dress appeared.  I put it on and it was the front runner.  But it was missing something!  So, my Randy/Monte, Michelle, "jacked me up" her style.  She brought me a blinged out belt and tied it on.  She turned me around and it happened.  The aha moment happened.  The skies opened up and the angels began to sing.  I had found the dress!  And then the most freaky thing happened!  I cried!   Say what??!?!?!  I just stood there and was flabbergasted!  I just had this feeling that overcame me and all I could think of was Mark.  I don't know if it was the realization that I am actually going to marry the love of my life.  Or if menopause has turned me into a hormonal mess!  What I do know is that I had a wonderful time and I can't wait until October!

So, the moral of this story is that no matter how old you are you can still find the love of your life.  When that love comes along your whole out look on life changes.  Now I'm dreaming of that wedding that I never knew I would ever want.  May be because I'm older, I can live in the moment and enjoy it more.  I look forward to all of the decisions coming my way!

Make Everyday Count....
Denise

Teachable Moments

The bags are packed for Scotland and England.  The rain coats and toe/hand warmers are bought. The British pounds and my passport are ensconced in their secret hiding places.  The phone is internationally prepared to receive and send text messages.  The itinerary is set.  My traditional night before I leave poem is written.  The credit card company is properly notified so that I can spend oodles of money.  The departure time is set. The enthusiasm is overflowing.  Everything is ready to go, but for one important thing.

Us.  We are no longer going.  Due to the recent ISIS attack in Brussels, our school district had to make an extremely hard decision.  Should we carry through with our plans to give our students an educational experience of a lifetime and  risk the lives of our students and chaperones?  Or should we stay on US soil where we may or may not be safer?  In the end our administration decided that keeping our students and parents safe and sound was the number 1 priority.  In light of the events today, it was the right, but heartbreaking decision.

So at 9:45 today, we found ourselves in the  unfortunate position of having to inform parents and students that we were no longer going on a trip of a life time.  The tears and the disappointment on their faces was heart breaking.  The journey they all started planning two years ago is now a broken dream. What should have been an experience like no other became a teachable moment in world affairs.   Instead of crossing the pond as an excited, anxious group, we are now a disappointed group grounded on Ohio turf.  Instead of learning about British parliament and the Magna Carta, we are now teaching them about homeland security.  Instead of being awestruck by the magnificence of Stonehenge, we are now teaching them about the rubble of terrorism.  Instead of enjoying the musical, "Thriller" on the London stage, we are now teaching them about the horrifying images seen on TV.  Instead of experiencing the hospitality of the British population, we are now teaching them about the evilness of a small group of people.  Instead of creating happy lifetime memories, we are now teaching them how to deal with the sad reality of the world.

The reality of this situation is that it is a teachable moment. No matter how you look at it, we are showing them the world.  Unfortunately, it isn't the world we wanted to show them.  We wanted to let them learn about the magnitude of history that is Europe.  We wanted them to experience various cultures.  We wanted to give them international travel.  We wanted to expose them to different foods. We wanted to watch them blossom and grow in confidence.  We wanted to show then how to embrace the world around them.  Instead we are teaching them about a world that isn't always kind.  We are teaching them that there are groups out there that take pleasure in harming others.  We are teaching them about world politics.  We are teaching about how actions in foreign countries have an effect on a little rural school district in Ohio.

But we are also teaching them about the resilience of humanity.  If we can't take our trip, I hope we can find the positive in such an evil doing.  In all of the tragedy, I know we will learn about compassion.  Over the hours, days and weeks, we will see the good stories about humans helping humans in the midst of disaster.  We will see people loving one another.  We hear stories of random acts of kindness.  We will see people rebuild their lives.  We will see new ways of fighting evilness.  We will see our governments work together to end this way of life.  We will work to rebuild trust in our mankind.  We will see hope in the eyes and hearts of good people of the world.

We will teach our children to how to feel safe again.  We will teach them to love their world around them and embrace it with compassion.

To all of the people of Belgium, you are in my thoughts and prayers.  It breaks my heart to see the images on TV.   I know you will rebound and grow from this situation.  You will become stronger people in the face of this tragedy.  You will show us how to live again.

Make Every Day Count.....
Denise

Every last word

If you're my Facebook friend, this post is just a review of the many laughs I've given you over the years.  If you are a reader of my blog, then you're in the dark.  You see, I frequently post conversations that I have with people.  Most of them are between Mark and I, but no one is safe from my need to share all aspects of my life.  The sad part is that they are completely true!  So, I felt a need to completely embarrass myself, and others, with the World Wide Web.

Just today, my brother Mitchell and I had a conversation about my upcoming nuptials with Mark. My brother is a sarcastic smart ass just like me.  We started out talking about the cake and ended up discussing fashion, or his lack of it, and what he'll wear when he t

Convo with my bro:
(Commenting on a post of an OSU cake for our wedding)
Me: I love it, but we are going with cupcakes. We will OSU them up though!
Mitch: Can I dress like Jim Tressell? Sweater vest?
Me: Sure
Mitch: I've done that look many times before.
Me: Sadly, you're right! 😏
Mitch: you're a bridezilla! 😳
Me: that doesn't make a bridezilla! It makes me the fashion police!😭

I recently spent the weekend in Coshocton at the Heart of Ohio Quilters Guild Retreat.  I found out exactly what some of my friends think of me.  Apparently it's not for my intelligence and good looks but for my hobbies!

Today's convo:
Me: Hi Patty!
Patty: hey!
Me: ready to sew?
Patty: yeah but just remembered something 
Me: what?
Patty: I just took one look at you and realized I forgot my wine!
Me: Really that's what you think of when you see ?
Patty: maybe!?!?!?
Me: 😳😳😳😳😳😳

As I mentioned, I  have been going to this retreat for like 15 years.  So, it made perfect sense when I blurted this out in front of strangers!

Convo upon arriving at the hotel. 
Me: what room are we in?
Barb: room 202
Me: I've slept in this room before
Barb: me too
Me: truth be known I've probably slept in every room here!
Barb: 😳
Me: hmmm .. I guess that didn't sound good to the people who don't know me!😏

Sometimes, well all of the time, I just never think before I speak!  As if you need more evidence than the last convo!

Another moment in the lives of Denise and Mark
To the tree guys...
Mark: we're leaving for a few
Tree guys:ok
Me: it should only be 45 minutes. We're going across the street to hospital for lunch.
Tree guys: not a problem.
As we walk away...
Mark: you know they're laughing at us.
Me: why?
Mark: they think we're old because are going to the hospital to eat!

Me: 😳

Of course, there are also those moments that only happen to us!  We are always just one moment away from hilarity and comedy!

Me: honey can you come here?
Mark: what's up?
Me: look at rod in my closet. It's starting to bow. Can you fix it? I want to be proactive and take care of it before it collapses
Mark: let me look. 
(Manly inspection)
Mark: yep! I'll just put a support in the middle!
Me: great!
(Mark walks away)
***boom****
Both: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
Me: so much for being proactive!



Then there are those random thoughts!

Today's convo:

Me: Where is the Super Bowl this year?

Mark: i don't know. Probably Dallas. Why don't you just google it?

Me: No, I don't care enough.

Mark: I can name all of the winners of all the Super Bowls.

Me: (Oh please, no!))

Mark: Year 1: (blah, blah, blah)

Mark: Year 2: (blah, blah, blah)

Mark: Year 3: (blah, blah, blah)

Me: Are you going to name everyone of them?

Mark: No

Me: Oh thank the heavens!

I can't wait until Football season is over!

I'm not an early morning kind of girl!  So any conversation is going to go towards the sarcastic side!

Here you go Teresa Coakley:

Mark: Did you know Jamie Foxx was a hero?

Me: (Trying to get ready for work) What?

Mark: You know the actor Jamie Foxx. He is a real life hero

Me: Why?

Mark: He saved people by pulling them from a burning car.

Me: Wow! I would say so then

Mark: Did you know he was a stud quarterback too?

Me: Yes, he is a stud in everything he does! *admiration eyes*

Mark: Yeah, he is Just like me!

Me: *eye rolls, heavy sighs* smh....(Just walk away, Joe!)

And then there is the times when Karma bits you in the ass!

That moment when your pet peeve bites you in the ass!😏

Mark: can you come here please?

Me: what do you want? 

Mark: just come to the bathroom.

Me: *heavy sigh, stomp, stomp * what?

Mark: come in here

Me: *eye roll*. What?

Mark: *shuts door*. Now hang it!

Even the most important moments of our life are comical

Another daily convo in the life of Mark and Denise:

Mark: I think it's time to set a date.

Me: (Looking up from my Candy Crush game?) A date for what?

Mark: Ummm, to get married!??!?!

Me: Oh! 

Mark: What are thinking?

Me: It really doesn't matter to me

Mark: Ok, how about 2025?

Me: no!

Mark: How about next fall?

Me: Do you mean 2016 or 2017

Mark: 2017.

Me: Okay (I get up and leave the room)

5 minutes later I come back with the computer...

Me: We are getting married Oct 21, 2017

Mark: Ohio State's bye week?

Me: Of course honey

Mark: That's my girl! 

But every now and then, the fewest words have the most meaning.

Tonight's convo:

Silence! He's playing cards!

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

And the present conversation:

Mark:  What are you doing?

Me:  Blogging

Mark:  What about?

Me:  I thought I'd share with the blogging world some of our conversations

Mark:  What?  Are you going to make me look like an idiot?

Me:  Who me?

Make Every Day Count..

Denise

When did this happen?

Today was a rough, emotional day.  I spent most of it crying as I watched the funeral procession for Officer Tom Cottrell who was intentionally gunned down last Saturday night while protecting the sleepy town of Danville.  Officer Cottrell was not targeted personally.  The perpetrator 's objective was to kill a man in uniform.  Unfortunately for Officer Cottrell and his family, he was the first one to come into contact with the killer.

As I sat cemented to my chair, I began to question life.  I looked at Mark, and through tears, I simply ask, "When did this happen?"  He said, "What, baby?"  I replied, "When did we become a nation that no longer respects the laws of the land and the lives of our law officials?"  He simply said, "I don't know".  

For as along as I can remember, I was taught that the policemen were my friends.  My parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, teachers, etc. always stressed to my brothers and I that the police officer was a place of safety.  We were to go to them if we were ever in trouble.  If we got lost, the police would help us find our families.  If someone was hurt, the police would call for the ambulance.  If someone was hurting you, the police would protect you.   As I grew older, I learned that I was to respect the badge.  They were there to protect our town and our family from lawbreakers. I knew when I earned my driver 's license that I was to abide by all the laws.  I also knew that if I found myself on the wrong side of the law, I was to do what the police officer told me to do. He was the authority and I was to respect that. 

What happened to this way of thinking?  Why does it seem that we no longer respect the badge and the life behind it?  When did the laws set forth in federal, state and local doctrines become optional? When did we become a society that feels as if it is above the law?  When did we no longer value the lives of others?  These questions have been haunting me today.  I'm 53 years old. I'm educated.  I'm a 31 veteran of the classroom.  I have seen a lot in those 53 years. But for some reason I can't find a logical explanation for any of these questions.  I just don't understand and it hurts  my heart.

I have been accused over the years for being a Pollyanna.  While some find this an insult, I take it as a compliment.  I choose, as I sit here and write,  that I will look for the positives in this tragedy.  I want to believe that something good will come of this senseless act of violence.  Perhaps the scholarship fund being set up at COTC in his name will produce some great law enforcement officials who will honor Officer Cottrell's name and life.  Perhaps the college fund for his daughters will enable them to seek careers that will allow them to help others just like their daddy.   Perhaps this will be a learning moment for others to understand the importance of the law enforcement agencies and change the way we do things.  Perhaps all of the little children who stood along the line paying respects will be the catalyst of change in the next generation. Perhaps it will motivate each and every one of us to be kinder to one another.  Perhaps it will soften our hearts and we can learn to just love. Perhaps.....


Make Every Day Count..
Denise

Anyone who would like to donate in Officer Cottrell's honor can do so through various outlets.  Go to the Newark Advocate link for more information


http://www.newarkadvocate.com