Letter to Cancer

Dear Cancer


F-*-C-K   Y-O-U!

Signed

Ben, Terri, Susan and Sharon's Friend,

To View or Not To View…That is the Question!

As a small child, my two favorite toys were Barbie dolls and books. While the Barbies have faded away to just a distance memory, the books have not.  It all started with my Grandma Hershberger and  my three Aunties Hershberger reading Cinderella to an adolescent Denise.  …. over and over again I.  Every gift giving occasion I would receive books.  I had the entire Nancy Drew series…until my mother sold them in a yard sale while I was at college.  But we will save that whole story for another post.   And yes, at 52, I'm still bitter about it. 

Sorry, I digressed for a moment…back to the task at hand.  To this day I read every moment I can.  I always have at least 5 books downloaded and waiting on my Kindle.  One of those books was The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.  I watched the movie on my flight back from Paris.  I loved the movie!   

So, I did something that I rarely do.  I bought the book after watching the movie.  Well, that was in March, but didn't get to the book until this August when my book club selected as the read of the month.  I was excited because I was actually

going to read the book!  I was apprehensive as I had seen the movie already.  We all know how the movies can ruin books.  I, too, was a book snob and thought the movies never did the book justice.  That is until now.  

My friend, Barb Whyte, and I had a discussion not long ago about the book.  She wasn't feeling it at first because she is a plot driven reader. (She is a retired English teacher after all!).  I was loving the book because we decided that I was a word driven reader.  I want the words to dance off of the page and take somewhere.  And boy did The Book Thief come alive for me…But not just because of the words, but because I saw the movie.  The imagery in the book was spectacular.  But when it was enhanced by my own reference to watching the movie, I was memorized.   I could see Liesel and Rudy and Rosa and Papa and Death in my mind every word of the book.  I could feel and smell the weather, the smoke,  the accordion, the death and destruction.  I could hear the bombs and I taste the horrible pea soup.  The entire book came alive like I have never experienced with any other book.  I contribute it all to watching the movie first.  

 

I was talking to a coworker about the book, and he told me he always watches the movie first whenever possible.  He says it makes the book more real.  The bonus is that you get added surprises with the book.  We all know that in order to convert a book to a movie, there are always parts omitted from movies.  So, when you read a book after the movie, you get an added bonus.  I have to agree with Chris.  This was a different experience for me.  Then I started thinking what it would have been like if I had read the Harry Potter books after the movies!  Or what about The Twilight series!  I could go on, and on, and on, but get the drift.

Now while I can't wait for every book I want to read to come out as a movie first, I do know that my reading experience will be heightened if I read it after the  fact.  What about you?  What do you think? To view or not to view?  That is the question?  What a paradigm shift!

Make A Every Day Count

Denise

"Go To The Doctor", they said!

I have been having some minor health issues the last six months.  Everyone told me it sounds like gall gladder issues.  So, two weeks ago, I was in so much pain that I actually called and made an appointment.  Why?   Beecause they all said, "Go to the doctor".  Well, they all suck!  Because now I find myself in a strict dietary hell!  He thinks it is thyroid and, therefore, a special diet is needed.

For the next 21 days my diet consists of the following:

Breakfast:  cereal and a banana
Mid morning snack:  granola bar
Lunch:  a Slim Fast and a granola bar
Mid afternoon snack:  granola bar
Dinner:  light menu of my choice

Folks, this is everyday for 21 freaking days!!!!!  First of all, I am leery of anyone who drinks their meals!  It's just not right!  One must chew their meals not drinking them. Of course the disclaimer here is wine.  I guess you could drink your lunch if it were wine.   Seriously!

I have tickets to the OSU vs. Cincy game on the 27th with pre-game tail gate party.   Who the hell takes a slim fast and a granola bar to a tail-gate party!!!!!!!  Seriously?!?!?!?  I'm freaking out here!

I'm supposed to go the Coshocton County fair in two weeks.  What am I supposed to do?  Slep my slim fast and granola bar there too?!?!?!?!?  Sit back and watch everyone else eat fries, pepperoni on a stick, Lemon Shakeup and  a candy apple while I eat a vanilla slim fast and a freaking Fiber one bar.

How many of these friends who encouraged me to go the doctor are going to step up and support me in my food hell over the next three weeks?!??!?  Shelly already told me she'd do but didn't think she could.  She did promise to not eat in front of me!  Grrrrr….

So guess what I did tonight?  I acted like a spoiled teenager and went out and ate everything bad!  I had potato chips, Coke, Chipotle, Sour Patch kids and wine!

I always try to find a silver lining in everything.  So here it is:  At least I don't have to pack a lunch for school for the next 3 weeks.  I can just keep a supply of everything in my room.

After more bitching and pouting, I know I will see the positive outcomes of this diet.  But in the meantime, I'm stomping my feet, crossing my arms and glaring at the world.  Tomorrow will be a brighter day.

Make Every Day Count…
Denise

Bunnies….The Root of All Evil

Bunnies……Who doesn't love a cute, adorable bunny with its twinkling eyes, twitching nose and tufted tail?  Hopping long the bunny trail without a care in the world.  Well, I'm here to say the damn things are evil.   Evil I say!

Over the last 30 years, I've been blessed with 3 wonderful rescue dogs… Freeway, Stormy and Sophie.   Like any good dog mom, I have done my best to love and protect them.  I have provided them with a loving home, a safe place to play ball, a plethora of treats and piggy ears, a firm hand when needed, and  a thousand bike path journeys.  I have protected them against the bites of fleas and ticks, the inquisitive hands of small children, the confrontations of unfamiliar dogs, the invasion of heart worms, and the unwelcome sounds of storms, fire whistles, and fireworks.  But the one thing I have never been able to protect my dogs from is the menacing backyard varmint known as Thumper!  The devil himself dressed a cute, fluffy animal.

The evil bunny has wreaked havoc on the lives of my dogs and, therefore, on me for decades.  Let's start with the obvious. The number of hours and miles I've spent searching for my dogs after they chased the damn rabbits all over the neighborhood.  And for what?  The dogs never learned that the rabbit was faster then them.  I can count on one hand how many times they actually caught the damn thing.  Which leads me to the second reason I despise Peter CottonTail.  Sophie is the only dog who has ever caught rabbits!  Let me tell you that dog holds on to her hunting victims with a pride I've never seen.  It takes 3 people to prior a dead bunny from here clenched jaws!  And for some reason I was always the only brave one who was willing to put my hands in mouth to pry the jaw open!  I guess you never know how strong you are until you have to open the mouth of a 50 pound Terrier!

Let me tell you, bunnies are cunning.  In order to keep the dogs safe in the yard, we installed the invisible fence.  While it kept Stormy and Sophie in, it was also a source torture mechanism for Thumper.  Those damn rabbits would sit on the other side of the line just twitching their nose and taunting the dogs….  "Come get us if dare, chicken!" "What?  Afraid of a little low voltage zap?"  Eventually Sophie couldn't take it anymore and would bolt across the line after the backyard bully.  Of course yelping when she made contact with the electrical force.  Then, she would repeat the sound when she had to crossed back over the line to reenter the homestead.  

Little Rabbit Foo-Foo has also cost injury and, therefore, monetary duress.  While chasing one of the hares around the back 40, Sophie's leg caught in a mole tunnel and she fell.  The resulting outcome was  a ripped ACL and major surgery.  That little episode cost $1500 and a 3 month recovery process.  Every time I watch her walk, I am reminded of that horrendous day and the evilness of the bunny.   I, too, have been injured by the rabbit.  While on a walk around Dawes Arboretum, Sophie spotted a bunny that I did not see.  The dog took after the animal while I was walking a different direction.  Sophie pulled my arm so hard, it resemble a child's water sprinkler break dancing across the lawn.  I'm reminded of that day every time I try to raise my right arm higher than my shoulder!  

But the final straw came last week.  While hanging out in the backyard one sunny afternoon, Sophie spied a bunny under the pine tree.  Sophie went on high alert!  With her nose to the ground, she ambled over to the bunny.  Instead of taking off, Thumper just sat there with a taunting look in his eye.  In fact, I'm pretty sure he was laughing on the inside.  The two engaged in a stare down…the rabbit's whiskers were twitching and Sophie's tail on point.  Sophie was the first to leap!  The rabbit started to scamper with Sophie in chase.  But then, it happened.  After about 10 feet Sophie just stopped.  Her 2 year old spunk was snuffed out by her 12 year old arthritic body.  She couldn't physical go any further.  It broke my heart.  In a split second I was reminded that my baby girl wasn't a young pup anymore.  Sophie had aged just like me.  We are both young at heart, but old in body.  Stupid rabbit!  It made me  face the reality that my best buddy was old and closer to the end of her life rather than the beginning.  It hurt my heart.

However, anytime you face the devil, God is there trying to help you learn the lesson.  As I wrote this post, I realized that it was a blessing in disguise.  I will approach each day with Sophie as a blessing and learn to treasure each moment I have left with her.  So, in honor of National Dog Day,  I wish all of you blessed moments with your man's best friend.  May you treasure the time you have together.

Make Every Day Count

Denise

Eighty Pages of WAHO

     Well, another summer has come and gone with lightening speed.  The end of summer signals the beginning of a new school year.  It's hard to believe that I will be starting my 31th year of teaching. When I started out teaching back in 1984, I couldn't even picture myself being one of the "seasoned" veterans on staff!  Heck, at the end of the last school year, I couldn't even see myself going back for one more year………

     

     Why, you ask?  What's the deal Edmunds?  You don't like teaching the youth of the Valley anymore?  Well, the truth is I had a rough year last year.  It happens to the best of us.  Some years are unbelievably awesome and some years are less than stellar.  There are many reasons that it happens:  mix of students, number of preps, stress, change, etc.  It's different for everyone.  So for me the summer following a challenging year can be one of discontent and discouragement.  If I allow myself, I can hide in my house and throw myself a daily pity party!  When I get like that I remember what a wise woman once said to me…"Denise, when you can't help  yourself, you need to help others.  In turn they will help  you find your light again."  After the second week of summer, I did just that.  I put on my big girl panties and mapped out my journey to a happier me.  

     As you all know, I am a crafter.  More specifically a quilter and paper crafter.  So, I decided to use my love of creating to help others.  The first ideas I got was what I called "Eighty pages of WAHO".  My friend Beth Adkins has a foundation called the Wyatt Adkins Heart Organization.  The foundation is named after her son Wyatt who passed away at the age of 6 months due to heart ailments.  WAHO has to ministries:  The WAHO Scrapbook Packets and the WAHO Community Playground Project.   When Wyatt was in the Children's Hospital, he was always hooked up to many machines, monitors, etc.  It weighed heavily on Beth that people mostly saw Wyatt as a sick boy in the hospital.  So she got the idea to create a 12" X 12" scrapbook page showing a different side of Wyatt.  Then she took it to the hospital to put on his crib so others could see Wyatt in a different light.  After his passing, Beth decided to make it a ministry by supplying the hospital with the scrapbook pages for other parents to use to let the world know about their child.  

So, I decided to use my love of scrapbooking to help the WAHO foundation.  My plan was to make 10 pages a week for the remainder of the summer.  I looked at the calendar and realized that there were 8 weeks left.  So, 8 X 10 = 80 Pages of WAHO.  I have to say it was addicted.  I found myself wanting to do just one more!  The pages will now go to Beth Adkins who has a group of students who volunteer their time to putting the packets together.  When she has a few hundred of them, Beth takes them to Columbus Children's Hospital.  So, if you visit the hospital and see a packet hanging from a crib, it just might be one that I made.  For more information about WAHO, go to http://wyattadkinsheart.org

While I love to paper craft, I wanted to do something with quilting.  It is my first love!  I belong to the Heart of Ohio Quilters Guild.  Our group of 150+ women and men have a number of service projects that we contribute to year after year.  One of my favorites is the Quilts of Valor Foundation.  The goal is to provide every wounded solider an Americana quilt as they recover.  A wonderful woman by the name of Judy Keck started our local group.  So, I teamed up with my friend Barb to do a quilt.  She had the strips already cut.  So I sewed them together to make the quilt pictured to the right.  Barb will now take the quilt and quilt it on her long arm machine. 

Once it is bound we will donate to the QOV.  For more information about Quilts of Valor go to http://www.qovf.org

Both of these projects helped me put my life woes into order.  It felt so good to do something for someone else.  It opened my eyes to plights of others and helped me realized how blessed my life really is.  As I did more, the better I felt.  By the end of the summer, I was energized and ready for a new school year. That wise woman was right!  WAHO and QOV helped me find my light again.  

So, here's to a new school year!  May everyone had a prosperous and  amazing year.

Make Every Day Count

Denise

Buckle Up! Here It Comes!

Dear friends and family, I'm pissed and I'm about to rant.  So buckle up, you might need it. Or, just quit reading right now and go watch American Idol!

 As many of you know, I'm a huge sports fan especially college sports.  I always wanted to be an athlete, but unfortunately, I was not blessed with any abilities.  I had a PE teacher tell me one time that it was too bad I had two left feet because I had the heart of a competitor! So instead being on the court, I sit on the sidelines and watch the action.  And to be honest, I'm also berating the referees and umpires when I'm not yelling encouraging words to my nieces, nephews and the Buckeyes.   

Because of my love of competition, I find myself glued to Olympic games every two years.  I just love all of the inspirational stories, the fierce competition, and the American victories.  I check the medal count every day on my Olympic Games app on my phone.  Yes, seriously, there is an app for your phone!  I cry every time they play the national anthem.  I fist pump, scream encouragements, and hold my breath in anticipation.  I check the sports guide to plan my night of TV viewing.  I purposely avoid sports pages and sports radio for two weeks!  I like to live in the moment of competition.

What I think I admire most is the dedication these athletes have for their sport.  I mean think about it. Most of them go to their 8-hour a day jobs and then go train for another 8 hours. (Let me inject here my dislike for professional athletes in the Olympics.  It's supposed to be about amateurs and their personal struggles to be the best.  I'm just saying!  The paid athlete ruins it for me!) They adhere to strict diets.  They push their bodies and minds to go further, play harder and be better.  They spend 4 years of intense training and single minded determination with only one goal in mind:  to win the Olympic gold medal.  For most of them, the actually competition lasts less than 10 minutes.  They spend their lives and tons of money preparing for that moment.  This is the reason why I cry when I see someone raise that gold medal and kiss it with gusto.

Okay Denise, so what are you so pissed about?  Well, prepare yourself, here it comes.  I am so damn angry about the events happening in Sochi, Russia.  As the opening ceremony approaches, so do the bombings, threats and violence.  Because of the actions of a bunch of manacle, evil people, the Olympics are being shrouded in safety concerns. Who the hell do these people think they are?  How dare they take away the meaning of the Olympics.  Yes, it is about competition.  But it is also about unity, peace and camaraderie.  They bring the world together for 15 days to enjoy the spectacle known as athletics.  Who doesn't enjoy the closing ceremonies when the athletes come in the stadium not as a national team, but as men and women who share a common bond.  The Olympics is also a time for families to witness the culmination of years of blood, sweat and tears.  They raise money to follow their athletes around the world to watch those precious moments when they see the final realization of the dreams. 

Because of a bunch misguided assholes, those families may now be watching from the comfort of their homes.  I heard today on sports radio that the athletes are now asking their love ones to stay away from Sochi.  The athletes feel the issues of security will take away from their focus.  I heard one competitor say he couldn't concentrate on his training knowing that his family might be in danger.  How heart breaking is that?  To live this one moment in time and can't physically share it with the people who have supported you through your journey.  And what about the citizens of Sochi?  How many of them are counting on the money from the Olympics to help them realize their dreams?  May be they want to send a child to college, or fund their own Olympic dreams.  I just don't understand how people can convince themselves that evil doing is okay.  I feel so sorry for their stone cold hearts and their misguided souls.  I also feel sorry for the people who's lives are ruined simply because they know these evil people.  I really hurts my heart to think of it all.

So join me in praying for the safety of everyone who is associated with the Sochi Olympics.  May God protect the good from the evil.  I think it's safe to say we will all be on pins and needles from the opening ceremony through the extinguishing of the flame on closing night. And unfortunately it won't be because of the competition.   May the spirit of good overcome the evil and that the Olympic spirit shines bright for 15 days in February.

Make Every Day Count

Denise

I'M BAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!

Dear Readers

After a 9 month hiatus, I'm glad to say that I'm back in the blogging world again.  I have missed all of you and hope you missed me as well.  So, where I have been you ask?  After all, I've been right in Newark/Heath area this whole time.  Let's make it clear, I did not have a child!!!!!  (Nine months, it get it?)  Well,  friends and family, I took an unplanned journey into to self-reflection, priority evaluation, and all around inward soul searching. Let's call the 2013 Reality Olympics.   I hit the magically age of 51 and decided I needed to figure out how the second half of my life was going to play out.  It happens when you get old.  At some point in your life, reality bitch slaps you in the face and shouts, "Girlfriend, it's time to face the facts, digest the successes, learn from the failures, and map out the future."  Normally, I would have taken you all long with me on the journey, but sometimes we all need some solitude in order to accept, heal and grow. So I made an unconscious decision to finally shut my mouth and work things out internally.   I've done that and now I'm ready to open up my life of twists and turns, quirkiness and goofiness, and pains and happiness once again.  I have a whole 9 months of experiences and stories that I am dying to share with you.  The ideas  are running amok in my head, just begging to be told.

So where do we go from here?  Since it's the new year, I guess I will start with a reflection of 2013 and the  5 most important things I've learned.

1.  Listen to your soul.  It knows you better than anyone else.  We all have that inner place that knows the truth about who we are, where we've been,  what we need and where we are going.   For some reason, we tend to fight it and/or ignore it.  I think we ignore it because it can be so painful to acknowledge and accept that truth.   The thing is it is always right and if we just listened to it in the first place, we could save ourselves so much time, grief and pain. However, we can't face it until we are ready.

2.  God will always give us what we need, when we need it.  See #1.

3.  At your lowest, you find out who your true friends are.  I have always said there are levels of friendship.  There are acquaintances.  There are fun friends.  There are time period friends.  There are reoccurring friends. And then, there are the no holds barred friends.  When you find your life in upheaval and transition, you find out who are those no holds barred friends.  They are there for you no matter what.  They see you at your weakest and pick you up and dust you off.  They tell you the truth whether you want to  hear it or not.  They help you rebuild who you are.  They help make you a better person.  To all of my no holds barred friends, and you know who you are, I want to say from the depths of my heart, thanks so much for everything you have done for me last year.  You've supported me through thick and thin and I appreciate it.  I hope 2014 brings more laughter, happiness and adventures than sorrow, sadness and grief.

4.  Laughter is the best medicine.  I love to laugh.  I love to laugh at intelligent humor (The Big Bang Theory).  I love to laugh at a well told story.  I love to laugh at my friends's expense!  Most importantly, I love to laugh at myself.  Even in the depths of despair, if you can laugh at yourself, you will be okay.  I do apologize to everyone who has to be subjected to my laughter.  When I'm not doing my "fake laugh" as my friends calls it,  and doing my "real laugh", I'm loud and usually start snorting! But I'll never apologize for finding humor in all situations.  It has to be better than being the uptight, fun police!

5.  You never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have.  Cliche, I know, but it's the truth.  I always thought I was this independent, take no shit, tough woman who could handle anything.  Nothing and no one would ever bring me to a place of doubt.  I was wrong.  When you find yourself in a place of unfamiliarity, you find out exactly how much substance you have.  I still have my moments of doubt and fear, but I also know that a deep breath and determination will bring me out of it.

So as I snuggle in my bed protecting myself from the Polar Vortex outside, I dream of the new adventures that await me in 2014.  I know there are going to be periods of happiness, sadness, goofiness and craziness. I welcome them all.  I'll take with me the lessons learned in 2013, and use them to help me face what comes my way in the new year.  And lucky you, I will take you with me.  Hold on because you never know what is going to happen next.

Make Every Day Count,
Denise