Another year and another Valentine's Day! I'm sure this doesn't come as a surprise to those of you who know me, but I don't like the holiday. In fact I wouldn't even call it a holiday. It is some made up day that corporate America uses to over charge us for roses, chocolate and cards! Now, before you all start calling me some hateful, unromantic witch, I want you to know that I am a romantic at heart. Just because I don't like weddings, cupid and Valentine's Day, it doesn't make me cold hearted. As with anything, I have my reasons.
If you think about it, the day sets people up for disappointment and heartbreak. It starts in kindergarten. When I was kid you made a box and took it to school. Then on V-Day your classmates would put cards in your box. Back in those days, we were not political correct as we are now. You only made cards for the kids you liked. I remember some kids would only get one or two cards while the more popular kids got oodles! Now before you accuse me of sour grapes, I just want to point out that I was in the latter group. This is not a 'I was done wrong' song! It is simply an observation I've made over the years of endless elementary V-day parties. Of course, I was the kid that made sure everyone had one much to the chagrin of my more snooty girlfriends!
Luckily we live a more politically correct society today and everyone is required to give everyone a V-day card. However, that doesn't mean there aren't other ways to crush hearts. I'm reminded of a Valentine story a friend, Natasha, shared with me. (I hope she doesn't mind that I share this with you! Names have been changed to protect the innocent!) In the second grade she had a boy named Boris who sat in front of her. On Valentine's Day, he garnered up the courage to slip her a special card asking her to be his Valentine. Natasha responded with no because you are big and lazy! She crushed the poor boy with her words! Luckily, Boris was persistent, and he and Natasha have now been married for 10+ years with three kids! I swear this is a true story. But what if Boris wasn't a strong, young man? For some kids this could have scarred them for all future V-days.
As we become adults, the stakes are even higher. There are so many expectations for V-day. For some it's planning the perfect evening. As we all know the saying, 'the best laid plans'! There is so much pressure to get it right and when it doesn't it can be devastating for some. For others it's all about just having someone to share it with so that you don't feel left out. It's hard to hear about your friends' V-day plans when you are not in a relationship. Let's face, V-day can suck if you are in the throes of a break up or divorce. I mean you have FTD commercials in your face telling you that only special people will get their overpriced red roses on Feb. 14. I don't know the statistics, but my guess is there are more lonely people on V-day then not.
Lastly, I believe everyday should be Valentine's Day. Why not celebrate the love we have for each other more than once a year? Do we really need some cherub with a bow and arrow to tell us when we should honor our love for each other? I say hell no! I mean a love note to your best guy or gal on a mid summer's night says I love you more than some $3.99 Hallmark card. Or a handpicked bouquet of wildflowers in the fall? I think it says I love you more than 12 roses that cost $50 and look like everyone else's. Now I know that all women love chocolate and there is no substitute for the real thing. I just think that your loved one should buy it for you at least once a week. The love comes from not pointing out the size of your hips and butt when you devour your Goumas candy!!! (For those of you not familiar with Newark, Ohio, Goumas is the to-die-for local candy store!)
Now I'm not advocating that everyone should chuck their V-day plans. Please carry on! And I hope it is day of fireworks and all things lovely. I hope you feel special and all fuzzy! Like I said I am a romantic at heart. I am just advocating that you make everyday a day to honor the love(s) in your life. After all don't we all like to know we are special more than once a year?
Make every day count.....
Denise
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