My yearly shopping event

May means so many things to so many people...prom, mowing, Memorial Day parties, graduation, summer vacations, etc.  For me it means the end of the school year and my annual pilgrimage to find an all purpose dress.  If you know me, you know that I would rather have my eyes poked out with an ice pick then shop clothes much less for a dress. But I must.  You see I need a dress for 5 different events in May:  prom, National Honor Society induction, senior awards night, senior banquet and graduation.  So I find one dress and get my money's worth!

In general I love dresses and skirts.  In fact I think the current styles are just adorable.  They have a lot of color, pattern and bling!  I love the bling.  The problem lies in the fact that I'm chunky.  When you are chunky there so many issues associated with clothes shopping.  The first problem is the mirror.  Baby, it don't lie!  The only time I see myself that naked is when I'm in a dressing room.  Chunky girls know what I'm saying.  There is no escaping the truth when you're in front of the mirror with the fluorescent lights.   Every imperfection, every roll, every bit of cellulite, every flabby part shows.  I see my head on a body that I don't recognize.

The second problem is the mirror.  Baby,  it  don't lie!  Chunky girls, you know what I'm talking about.  We search the racks of clothes and pick out the cutest things to try on.  We head to the dressing room confident that we have found the perfect outfit.  We put it on, go out to the three way mirror and pray it will look great.  We open our eyes and the mirror tells us the truth.  We have once again chosen to put our fluffy girl bodies into a skinny girl outfit!   The top gaps at the boobs,  the waist line shows our bulges, and let's just not go the booty area!   You know,  you know what I'm talking about!  

Well, today was that day.  I headed off to Cato's.  They have some of the flyest clothes at reasonable prices.  Let's face it, I'm not about to spend oodles on a dress that will only be worn 5 times in May.  Then it will go to the annual garage sale!  I saw some of the cutest, hippest dresses.  I tried on about 10 of them.  It was all bad!!!!!!  Here's the problem:  Every thing is in rayon right now.  Chunky girls are not made for Rayon.  I looked like a stack of tires!  Bad!!!!  In fact, I don't understand why the clothing manufacturers even make rayon clothing in anything over a size 10. It ain't right! And don't even get me started on skinny jeans for plus sizes.

Enough of my tirade.   I am happy to report that I now own a black skirt.  It borders on flattering, but not quite.  Let's just say it was the least offensive of everything I tried on.  I did buy two really cute tops to go with it.  One is a bright, funky, pink, geometric pattern.  The other is bright but a little more matronly. I did find some great flashy and trashy earrings to spice it up.  All I need now is a pair of Spanks to keep the rolls under control and the thighs from rubbing together.   

However, the most successful part of the trip today was the new purse I got.  I am a purse-a-holic.  I've never met one I didn't like.  It is leather and hot pink!  It has a bow on it and I totally rock it.  It clashes with my new red hair color, but I don't care.  I just know that purses have a way of dictating my moods.  If it is sassy, then so am I.  If it is boring, then so am I.  This May I will be strutting my Spanks and new size 14 skirt with a skinny girl attitude.  Like I said, it is all in the purse.

Make Every Day Count

Denise

When Opposites Attract

Rick and I are polar opposites which often is the cause of conflicts and compromises.  This Saturday's trip to the furniture store was no different!

As most of you know, we are in the process of remodeling and/or finishing  the rooms in our 85 year old house.  Given our ages, we decided to go room by room and make the changes we've always wanted while we still have the energy and money to do it.  Last month we put the new hardwood floors in the living room.  Now it was time to get new furniture ordered!

Before we get to the actual shopping trip, there is some background information that you need.  Rick grew up  in a house that had mostly white walls and few items hanging on the walls.  When we first moved into our house, he thought he was thinking outside of the box when he agreed to taupe walls!  I, on the other hand, grew up with a closeted interior designer.  My mom could paint, wallpaper, decorate and accessorize an outhouse!!!!   Seriously, our house could have been in a decorating magazine.  You never knew when you would come home and there would be new wallpaper on the walls.

Well,  the decorating apples don't fall far from the trees.  Rick is a crisp and clean guy, and I'm a shabby chic girl.  He loves plain fabrics and I love mixed patterns.  So, you can only imagine our trip to the furniture store.  Before we even went into the store, I spied the red couch in the window.  It had a chair with a tree branch pattern.  I said, "I love it".  He said, "NO!"   Once we got in the store, we looked up my sister.  She works at Coconnis in Zanesville.  She was waiting on a customer and told us to look around.  We did the initial first time through the store.  I'm pointing to plaids, checks, big florals in reds and greens.  He is pointing out every non red and/or non green solid couch.   I say it is beautiful and he says it's ugly.  He says it is gorgeous and I roll my eyes and keep walking.  After the initial walk through, we talk about how we have to find a style and then worry about the fabric. Of course, I keep going back to the furniture styles with the fabrics I'm drawn too.  Why?  Because the style and fabrics go together.  Rick, however, can't get beyond the fabric.  He keeps saying, "Denise, I just can't live with those fabrics."  Eventually, we take a break and look for coffee tables and TV stands instead.

Finally, my sister comes to the rescue and helps us redirect ourselves back to picking our style.  Not only do we have our opposing decorating styles, we have another issue to consider.  We have dogs who get up on the furniture.  We consciously made the decision to allow this when they were puppies and we chose to cuddle with them on the couch.  Eight years later there is no going back!   Piece of advice:  Dogs can be a lot like small children. Don't start habits that will need to be broken later!  So, anyways, we start round two of furniture shopping. My poor sister must have thought she was dealing with two adults with ADHD.  Neither one of us can stay focused on style and comfort.  We keep drifting back to pattern vs. solid.  Paige keeps yelling 'just  to sit and find comfort.  We can look at fabric swatches later.'

Finally, 3 hours later we achieved success!  We found a style we both liked.  Now it was time to choose the fabric.  Believe it or not, we found the perfect pattern right away.  The final decision is a camel colored couch with a burnt red welting (piping).  The chair has a geometric pattern with camel, burnt red, clay orange and green!  He got his plain couch and I got my funky patterned chair!!!  It was amazing that we actually picked the tables and TV stand in less than 45 minutes.  It will all be here in 4-6 weeks.

As we waited for all of the paperwork to be completed, I looked at him and said, "Honey, I just want you to know that if you go first, I'm buying a red couch."  He said, "Honey, I just want you to know that if you go first, I'm buying a yellow Camero!"

It was exhausting to say the least!  Of course, the next hump will be room arrangement and  accessories!  Let's just say I'm glad we have 4-6 weeks to recuperate.  It will be another round of conflicts and compromises.

Make Every Day Count!
Denise

Spring Break 2011

Spring break has come and gone, and I am exhausted!  I went around the world in 10 days!  What!?!?!?!  I'm sure you all are saying,  "Now, Denise, I specifically recall you whining on Facebook about how you were trapped in downtown Marne, Ohio in the gloomy cold weather.  What's the deal?"  Well, my blog posse I understand your confusion.  You see I physically sat in Marne,  but intellectual I travelled the world. You see I have a love for literature.  From the time I could pick up the book Cinderella at the age of 18 months,  I have been reading.  I have my Grandma Hershberger to thank for teaching me the power books have.  So sit back and let me share with you my Spring Break 2011 "photo" album.

My first stop was Chicago, Illinois.  What a city!!!  Thanks to Michael Wiley and his book, The Bad Kitty Lounge, I took a journey to the seedy side of Chicago.  I helped Joe Kozmarski solve the murders of Greg Samuelson and Judy, the Virginity Nun.  Unfortunately, these folks had skeletons in their closets that led to their demise.  But the murders didn't stop there.  Throughout our adventure, we came across 3 more dead bodies!!   Talk about unnerving!  Of course, then there were the two chicks in his life.  Those two need to get grip and dump Joe's butt. The man is commitment challenged.  If it weren't for Joe's  great sarcasm and the two bumbling henchmen that kept following us, I might have caught the first airplane out of Chi-town. I'm glad I stayed though.  Together we figured out whodunit and brought closure to many people.

Next I went to Los Angeles and San Diego, California.  I have to say this was not my favorite part of the trip.  Some people are just annoying and offensive.  I'm sorry Justin Helpern, but The Sh*t Your Dad Says borders on grotesque. It's hard to believe that Justin's dad is a doctor of nuclear medicine and not a drunken sailor.  At times I just wanted to wash Dr. Helpern's mouth out with soap.  I really enjoyed Justin, but I just don't understand why he wrote the book.  If that was my dad, I wouldn't want anyone to know!!  But Justin is brave; he actually sold the rights to the book for a TV sitcom.  Now the world knows The Sh*t His Dad Says.   But as with every trip I take,  there is always good parts and bad parts.  I wish you great success Justin, but I for one will not be watching your "Dad's" show!

I got out of San Diego as fast I could and hopped the next  plane for Calcutta, India.  I was so excited to meet up with my dear friends, Lady Julia Grey and her husband Nicholas Brisbance.  These two are a throw back to the 1880s.  Both of them grew up in England and still abide by old English proprietary.  Every now and then they do exhibit some enlightenment ideas!  Anyways, they invited me to stay with them in Darjeeling, India at the Peacocks, a tea plantation in the Valley of Eden.  It was a beautiful place.  The Himalayan mountains was the back ground to some of the most beautiful landscape I've ever seen.  I got to experience the Hindu culture.  I actually went to a pooja!  (It is a celebration held at the beginning of the tea picking season.).  What fun!  But as it always happens, where ever Julia and Brisbane go, so does a murder that needs to be solved!  While solving a murder is always to be treated seriously, I just laugh at the two of them.  They don't play well together when there is a case to solve.  Julia wants to out do Brisbane, and he just wants to keep her safe.  If the two of them would just work together, they could solve the cases much faster!  I spent most of my time with them laughing and loving them.  Deanna Raybourn's Dark Road to Darjeeling is the fourth and best installment of the Julia Grey series. 

While I was tired and kind of jonesing to get back to America, I decided to make one more stop while on vacation.  I decided to detour to the beautiful country of Ireland.  One of my oldest friends, Maeve Binchy had a new story, Minding Frankie, that she wanted to share with me.  How could I resist!  I love her and will go where ever she sends me.  She took me back to St. Jarlath Street in Dublin.  I absolutely am in awe of the residents of this little burg.   This neighborhood knows how to support one another.  When I arrived Noel had just found out he was going to be father in two weeks.  Apparently a girl from his past found out she was pregnant and kept the news from him.  Unfortunately, she also had cancer and would not live to see the baby, Frankie, be born.  I was amazed how everyone on the street rallied around Noel and helped him raise Frankie.  Watching these people support each other reaffirmed my belief in humanity.

Of course all good things must come to an end.  I'm home now and recuperating from my travels.  I'm exhausted, but satisfied with my journey.  I love being able to go anywhere in the world with nothing more than a book in one hand and a good glass of wine in the other.  I encourage all of my readers to pick up a book and escape to another world, country or time period.  You may be surprised what you find.

Make Every Day Count....

Denise

PS:  I want to share with all of you of a blog that I am currently reading.  It is called bloggingtheword.com  Adam Lorence is the son of my friend Cheryl.  Adam is reading the Bible everyday and sharing God's word and commentary with the Internet world.  He is starting at the beginning with Genesis and will continue he has finished the Bible.  If you want a fun way to learn more about God's word, I encourage you to check it out.  Thanks Adam for all of your hard work.

Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature

What have I ever done to you?  I respect your land.  I plant and tend to my yard year round.  I have numerous flower beds that bloom in celebration of your life.  I mow my lawn and try to thwart the moles in your name.   I recycle so I can help preserve the  Earth.  But is that enough for you?  Apparently not!

Tell me  Mother Nature what have I done wrong to deserve your wrath.  I have been off all week long and only wished for some spring weather so that I could enjoy the outdoors.  I have an acre of winter debris to pick up.  I have ankle high tufts of grass to mow. I have spring bulb blooms to admire and photograph.  But did I get any cooperation from you?  No!  Instead you brought me hail, snow, sleet, rain, frigid temperatures and gloomy skies.   Not one day was nice enough to work outside until today!  Sunday, the last day of break.  You gave me this gorgeous weather today knowing I had to stay indoors all day to lay the hardwood floors.  Who do you think you are?  Joan Rivers?  Well, I for one do not find you funny!  Your taunting is not very lady like.   It is really quite unbecoming.

I checked the weather forecast for the week, and.....um, I guess I feel a little bit better.  May be it's not  personal after all.  It says it's going to rain and thunderstorm all week!  I guess it would be a personal insult if it was going to be sunny and nice as I head back to work.  I'm sorry Mother Nature.  Once again, I thought it was all about me.  Oops!  I guess this is what happens when you anger blog!  I love you Mother Nature and promise to be more patient.

Make Every Day Count...
Denise