I have a core group of friends called The Bodacious Book and Fabric Goddesses (BBFGs). We meet the last Monday of every month. Sometimes we gather to sew and other times we gather to discuss our book. We recently read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. Excellent work of fiction about the post WW2 era set in the Channel Islands. If you haven't read, please do! You'll be ready to board a flight to Guernsey immediately. A movie was made based on the book and is currently on Netflix. So, last night we all decided to meet at Patty's house and watch the movie together.
Patty lives west of Hebron. I had never been to her house before so I put her address in my GPS and away I went. I knew where she lived. I just didn't know exactly which house. I was running a bit behind because I had worked out first so I was a little on the anxious side to get there by 6:30. As I was approaching Patty's house, "Mandy" told me to turn left. I looked, but I didn't see anywhere to turn. Besides, I knew she lived on the next street so I turned there. I drove by several houses trying to determine which one was hers. I couldn't figure out why Mandy had the wrong directions. That had never happened to me before. So, I turned around and went back down the street. Finally, I saw some vehicles I recognized! Barb's Dodge Caravan and Lynne's blue car were in the drive way. I flew down the drive and threw it in park! I was going to make on time!
I got out of the car, and a man came out of the garage. I had never met Jim before so I cheerfully greeted him and asked if everyone was in the house. He just looked at me and said they were in the kitchen. I said thanks and went in. Now this is my first time to Patty's house so I was slightly thrown by all of the little girl toys strewed among the living room. Patty has a 19 year old son! She is very active in her church so I thought maybe she had that stuff to entertain children when she hosts Bible groups. I found my way winding around the hall way. As I entered the kitchen, I throw up my arms, shouted "I'M HERE! THE PARTY CAN START!!. I then dropped dead in my tracks. I'm looking at two stunned 85+ year old ladies in their dusters snapping green beans! What the hell?!?!?
They looked at me. I looked at them. There were no words from anyone for what seemed like 20 minutes! Finally I said, I definitely have the wrong house. I explain I was meeting my friends for our monthly friendship meeting They warily asked me who I was looking for. I simply replied, Patty. They didn't know Patty. I said you know Patty Betounes. They still how no idea who I was talking about. One lady finally recovered enough to ask his her husband's name was Jim. YES!!! Now we are getting somewhere!. She told me that they lived next door, but to be careful of the dog. I'm a little perplexed because Patty has a little poodle, but I just let it go. I told them that I was sorry to intrude on them and that enough though I"m really loud, I am harmless. About this time her husband comes back into the house and asks if there's a problem. I explained that I was in the wrong house. He asked me why I would go into a house with asking first. I reminded him that he LET me the house without asking me! But, I explained that the cars in the driveway were very similar to my friends' cars and I assumed I was in the right place.
I got in my car and went next door. I didn't even get out of the car when I realized there were no vehicles in the driveway! So I backed out and decided to go to Virginia's house across the street, She is Patty's step-sister and I knew that Patty lived across from her. I didn't even get up the steps and Virginia is on the porch asking what I was doing! I repeated the entire story again. She is just looking at me with disbelief and then she busts laughing! She told me it's a good thing I didn't get out at the other house because they a huge dog and a pit bull. Apparently they don't like people! I asked if she knew the people across the street. She said yes and that Rosalie is a quilter too! Well, at least we had something in common after all. So, where does Patty live I asked Virginia. Once she quit laughing, she said I'll show you. We went to the BACK of the house and there is Patty's. She lives down this little lane to the sweetest cottage! Well how do I get there? Go back onto Route 40 and take the first right hand turn! Oh for Pete's sake, Mandy the GPS was right all long. Mandy=1 Denise= epic fail!
I hugged Virginia and asked her to call Rosalie and explain that I'm not some kind of psychopath trying to case her home and hopes of pulling off a heist! She said she would and I left. I found Patty's lane and started driving back. Lo and behold, there were the cars of my friends! So, I parked the Lexus again and trample up to the porch. I knocked and Patty came to the door There was no way in hell I was going to let myself into another stranger's house! She answered the door and I shouted I'M HERE! THE PARTY CAN START!! And boy do I have a story for you!
I did talk to Virginia this evening. I asked her if she talked to Rosalie. She said she did. Virginia assured them that I was harmless and a quilter too. They decided that explained a lot?!?!?!? Virginia said that they all got a big laugh out of it. They said the next time I will have to stay to help can green beans!
I don't make this shit up folks! This is my life in Newark, Ohio!
Make every day count!
Denise
