I have a core group of friends called The Bodacious Book and Fabric Goddesses (BBFGs). We meet the last Monday of every month. Sometimes we gather to sew and other times we gather to discuss our book. We recently read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. Excellent work of fiction about the post WW2 era set in the Channel Islands. If you haven't read, please do! You'll be ready to board a flight to Guernsey immediately. A movie was made based on the book and is currently on Netflix. So, last night we all decided to meet at Patty's house and watch the movie together.
Patty lives west of Hebron. I had never been to her house before so I put her address in my GPS and away I went. I knew where she lived. I just didn't know exactly which house. I was running a bit behind because I had worked out first so I was a little on the anxious side to get there by 6:30. As I was approaching Patty's house, "Mandy" told me to turn left. I looked, but I didn't see anywhere to turn. Besides, I knew she lived on the next street so I turned there. I drove by several houses trying to determine which one was hers. I couldn't figure out why Mandy had the wrong directions. That had never happened to me before. So, I turned around and went back down the street. Finally, I saw some vehicles I recognized! Barb's Dodge Caravan and Lynne's blue car were in the drive way. I flew down the drive and threw it in park! I was going to make on time!
I got out of the car, and a man came out of the garage. I had never met Jim before so I cheerfully greeted him and asked if everyone was in the house. He just looked at me and said they were in the kitchen. I said thanks and went in. Now this is my first time to Patty's house so I was slightly thrown by all of the little girl toys strewed among the living room. Patty has a 19 year old son! She is very active in her church so I thought maybe she had that stuff to entertain children when she hosts Bible groups. I found my way winding around the hall way. As I entered the kitchen, I throw up my arms, shouted "I'M HERE! THE PARTY CAN START!!. I then dropped dead in my tracks. I'm looking at two stunned 85+ year old ladies in their dusters snapping green beans! What the hell?!?!?
They looked at me. I looked at them. There were no words from anyone for what seemed like 20 minutes! Finally I said, I definitely have the wrong house. I explain I was meeting my friends for our monthly friendship meeting They warily asked me who I was looking for. I simply replied, Patty. They didn't know Patty. I said you know Patty Betounes. They still how no idea who I was talking about. One lady finally recovered enough to ask his her husband's name was Jim. YES!!! Now we are getting somewhere!. She told me that they lived next door, but to be careful of the dog. I'm a little perplexed because Patty has a little poodle, but I just let it go. I told them that I was sorry to intrude on them and that enough though I"m really loud, I am harmless. About this time her husband comes back into the house and asks if there's a problem. I explained that I was in the wrong house. He asked me why I would go into a house with asking first. I reminded him that he LET me the house without asking me! But, I explained that the cars in the driveway were very similar to my friends' cars and I assumed I was in the right place.
I got in my car and went next door. I didn't even get out of the car when I realized there were no vehicles in the driveway! So I backed out and decided to go to Virginia's house across the street, She is Patty's step-sister and I knew that Patty lived across from her. I didn't even get up the steps and Virginia is on the porch asking what I was doing! I repeated the entire story again. She is just looking at me with disbelief and then she busts laughing! She told me it's a good thing I didn't get out at the other house because they a huge dog and a pit bull. Apparently they don't like people! I asked if she knew the people across the street. She said yes and that Rosalie is a quilter too! Well, at least we had something in common after all. So, where does Patty live I asked Virginia. Once she quit laughing, she said I'll show you. We went to the BACK of the house and there is Patty's. She lives down this little lane to the sweetest cottage! Well how do I get there? Go back onto Route 40 and take the first right hand turn! Oh for Pete's sake, Mandy the GPS was right all long. Mandy=1 Denise= epic fail!
I hugged Virginia and asked her to call Rosalie and explain that I'm not some kind of psychopath trying to case her home and hopes of pulling off a heist! She said she would and I left. I found Patty's lane and started driving back. Lo and behold, there were the cars of my friends! So, I parked the Lexus again and trample up to the porch. I knocked and Patty came to the door There was no way in hell I was going to let myself into another stranger's house! She answered the door and I shouted I'M HERE! THE PARTY CAN START!! And boy do I have a story for you!
I did talk to Virginia this evening. I asked her if she talked to Rosalie. She said she did. Virginia assured them that I was harmless and a quilter too. They decided that explained a lot?!?!?!? Virginia said that they all got a big laugh out of it. They said the next time I will have to stay to help can green beans!
I don't make this shit up folks! This is my life in Newark, Ohio!
Make every day count!
Denise
Tuesday, August 28, 2018
Saturday, May 5, 2018
Four Cats, Two Old Ladies and Smooth Jazz
I recently turned 57. In order to celebrate in style, my friend Toni and I planned a girls' getaway weekend at her winter home in Florida. I took a personal day from school so I could extended my visit in the sunshine state. The goal was to enjoy as much sun, laughter, fun, wine, and girl bonding as possible. It was another highly anticipated Toni and Denise Adventure! They are epic! This adventure was definitely epic, but not in the usual way!
We weren't even sure if the trip was going to get off of the ground! Forty eight hours before take off, I was diagnosed with strep throat! Fifty six years old and I have the sickness of the month. The doctor asked me if I was exposed to it recently. I responded with my normal sarcasm, "I'm a teacher! What the hell do you think?" Then I whined about my trip! Thank goodness the doctor gave me the okay to fly! By the time I departed, I was on an antibiotic for 48 hours. I called Toni, and let her know we were back on for our girls' weekend.
When Toni picked me up at the airport in Tampa, she had some bad news. Her husband, Keith, had taken ill in Ohio and was in the emergency room. He assured us that we did not have to cancel plans. Talked to him again on Friday, and the same reply, "Everything is fine and you don't need to come home". Well, Saturday on our way to the beach, we stopped for breakfast at my favorite coffee shop, Caribou. While there we got another call from Keith. This time he didn't sound as fine. When Toni got off of the phone, I said, "Turn this boat around. We are going to Ohio!"
So, back home we went to her house to pack! That's not that remarkable until you throw in the fact that she has 4 cats! That's right, we had to pack up 4 cats before we could leave for Ohio! Never in my life have I traveled with one cat for 16 hours much less 4! Now, Toni is the ultimate cat lady! She has these cat condos for the car! Never I have ever seen anything like it! Two cats per condo! Each one takes up a whole seat. So we had two cats in the back seat and two cats in the back hatch. There was very little room left for human needs! It took us about 30 minutes to get everything in, but we are packing engineers! Once we got everyone in, we headed to I-75 and Macon, Georgia, our night's sleep over.
Now you can only imagine the serenading we got from the cats. Sidney, Simon, Corky and Ellie were not happy campers. Apparently cats don't like to be in the car. So to soothe them, we found a smooth jazz radio station to play for them. On their maiden trip to Florida it was Christmas time. They loved Christmas carols. We thought we might have listen to them, but the jazz worked. About 30 minutes into the trip, we smelled something rank. Yep, one of the cats shit! And to top it off, we were at a standstill in traffic! That's right, we now had to smell shit for the next 5 1/2 hours! After all, cats aren't dogs or kids! You can't just stop and take care of it!
Five hour later (11:58 p.m.) we arrive at the hotel. Talk about one comical event after another! Toni goes in and gets registered. I stay with the kitties and soothe them with my loud voice, baby talk and head scratches. When Toni comes out, she's like we are only allowed to have 2 cats! Oh freaking great! How are we going to smuggle in a second very large cat condo with 2 more cats! Did I mention that they take up an entire back seat? They don't even fit on the luggage carts that hotels provide. Once again we had to call on our engineering abilities and find a way to get the carrier on the cart. We finally got a plan in order, but then couldn't get the hotel door open! The kind girl behind the desk came to our rescue and helped us. Of course, she now knows we have 2 cats. How the hell will we get the other cat condo in later? I stayed with the other two while Toni went upstairs. She returns and we load the other one up. Once again the kind girl helps us get in. She's looking at them and we are holding our breath when lo and behold a guy wants in the other door with a 9 week old German Shepard puppy! While the clerk was oohing and aahing over the dog, we took off for the elevator! Possible eviction thwarted! Of course, once we got in the room we had to address Corky's accident in the car!
Corky is a beautiful long haired white and orange cat. He is actually my personal favorite of the 4. Well, you can only imagine what kind of a mess he was! There we are at 12:30 in the morning trying to clean him up. We have him in the tub. I"m holding him down rubbing his head while Toni is cleaning him. I can't even describe the smell. I look over at Toni at one point and said, "If this isn't true friendship, I don't know what is!" We did the best we could and let him go. Finally at 2:00 a.m. we are in bed with Sidney growling at us. Corky is hiding underneath a chair. Simon is under the night stand hissing . Good old Ellie is literally jumping through the air from the one bed to the other and then on the TV stand. She is doing a full circle! Good night to us!
Now, when we checked in the night before, the clerk warned us about letting the cats out to roam. While the beds are on a box, there is a small opening at the head boards where cats have been known to get behind. Toni, the pro, said, "Yes, I'm aware. I just block them off before I let them out!" Okay, cool! We cat proofed the beds before letting them out. All seemed good! The first thing I did in the morning was do a cat count. I'm sure you can guess where this is going! Only 3 out of 4 cats are accounted for! Really, this is how we are going to start the day!??!?! We were optimistic and decided to get ready and pack. Surely Sidney would come out eventually. So, once everything was ready to go, we still didn't have a Sid! Toni's plan was to catch the other 3 cats and put them in the carriers. She did so with little opposition! My plan was to take a load to the car and start packing it. Of course, we didn't take a picture before we left Florida so I had to rely on memory of the day before! Then when I got back, we would call maintenance to tear the bed apart. When I returned to the room Toni met me at the door with good news/bad news. I walked in the room, and it looked a little like a bomb went off. The good news was Sid did not go under the bed after all. He had situated himself between the bed, the wall and the nightstand. The really good news was she put him in the carrier. The bad news was he managed to bust the zipper and escape. Toni fixed the carrier and was now trying to capture him again. He was pissed, and she had to throw a towel over him so he didn't bite/scratch her. She's a warrior and got it on the second try!
Our goal was to leave at 10:00 a.m.. I'm happy to report that we left at 10:06 a.m. with 4 cats a squawking just like we did the day before! I looked at Toni, and she looked at me, and both said, "Smooth jazz!" The rest of the trip was uneventful! No cat shit! No more growling, hissing or crying. As long as the music played, they were as content as could be expected. Ten hours later I was dropping Toni off at Riverside, and I drove the kitties to her house. Luckily Mark and Sondra met me there! We safely got the cats in the house! As I was leaving, they were hissing and growling again at the other two. Me, they let me know pet them and comfort them before I left. Apparently we bonded enough on our adventure that they saw me as their second mommy! I think they wanted me to stay!
While this is just another comical experience in my life , there is a lesson to be learned. Well several lessons, but we will focus on the most important one. We never know what God's plan is for us. What started as a girl's weekend quickly became a trip of love. God put me in Florida that weekend so that I could help my friend in a time of need. We found out what we are made of and we strengthen our bond. There's nothing like cat shit and smooth jazz to solidify a friendship! My birthday celebration lasted 48 hours instead of 5 days. But that's okay! There is no other placed I wanted to be! So, what about Keith? He is still in the hospital, but they have determined what ails him, and he's on the road to recovery! Hopefully he will be out tomorrow! So, say a little prayer for him tonight! And always remember that God has a plan for all of us. We just have to wait for him to present it!
Make Everyday Count.........
Denise
We weren't even sure if the trip was going to get off of the ground! Forty eight hours before take off, I was diagnosed with strep throat! Fifty six years old and I have the sickness of the month. The doctor asked me if I was exposed to it recently. I responded with my normal sarcasm, "I'm a teacher! What the hell do you think?" Then I whined about my trip! Thank goodness the doctor gave me the okay to fly! By the time I departed, I was on an antibiotic for 48 hours. I called Toni, and let her know we were back on for our girls' weekend.
When Toni picked me up at the airport in Tampa, she had some bad news. Her husband, Keith, had taken ill in Ohio and was in the emergency room. He assured us that we did not have to cancel plans. Talked to him again on Friday, and the same reply, "Everything is fine and you don't need to come home". Well, Saturday on our way to the beach, we stopped for breakfast at my favorite coffee shop, Caribou. While there we got another call from Keith. This time he didn't sound as fine. When Toni got off of the phone, I said, "Turn this boat around. We are going to Ohio!"
So, back home we went to her house to pack! That's not that remarkable until you throw in the fact that she has 4 cats! That's right, we had to pack up 4 cats before we could leave for Ohio! Never in my life have I traveled with one cat for 16 hours much less 4! Now, Toni is the ultimate cat lady! She has these cat condos for the car! Never I have ever seen anything like it! Two cats per condo! Each one takes up a whole seat. So we had two cats in the back seat and two cats in the back hatch. There was very little room left for human needs! It took us about 30 minutes to get everything in, but we are packing engineers! Once we got everyone in, we headed to I-75 and Macon, Georgia, our night's sleep over.
Now you can only imagine the serenading we got from the cats. Sidney, Simon, Corky and Ellie were not happy campers. Apparently cats don't like to be in the car. So to soothe them, we found a smooth jazz radio station to play for them. On their maiden trip to Florida it was Christmas time. They loved Christmas carols. We thought we might have listen to them, but the jazz worked. About 30 minutes into the trip, we smelled something rank. Yep, one of the cats shit! And to top it off, we were at a standstill in traffic! That's right, we now had to smell shit for the next 5 1/2 hours! After all, cats aren't dogs or kids! You can't just stop and take care of it!
Five hour later (11:58 p.m.) we arrive at the hotel. Talk about one comical event after another! Toni goes in and gets registered. I stay with the kitties and soothe them with my loud voice, baby talk and head scratches. When Toni comes out, she's like we are only allowed to have 2 cats! Oh freaking great! How are we going to smuggle in a second very large cat condo with 2 more cats! Did I mention that they take up an entire back seat? They don't even fit on the luggage carts that hotels provide. Once again we had to call on our engineering abilities and find a way to get the carrier on the cart. We finally got a plan in order, but then couldn't get the hotel door open! The kind girl behind the desk came to our rescue and helped us. Of course, she now knows we have 2 cats. How the hell will we get the other cat condo in later? I stayed with the other two while Toni went upstairs. She returns and we load the other one up. Once again the kind girl helps us get in. She's looking at them and we are holding our breath when lo and behold a guy wants in the other door with a 9 week old German Shepard puppy! While the clerk was oohing and aahing over the dog, we took off for the elevator! Possible eviction thwarted! Of course, once we got in the room we had to address Corky's accident in the car!
Corky is a beautiful long haired white and orange cat. He is actually my personal favorite of the 4. Well, you can only imagine what kind of a mess he was! There we are at 12:30 in the morning trying to clean him up. We have him in the tub. I"m holding him down rubbing his head while Toni is cleaning him. I can't even describe the smell. I look over at Toni at one point and said, "If this isn't true friendship, I don't know what is!" We did the best we could and let him go. Finally at 2:00 a.m. we are in bed with Sidney growling at us. Corky is hiding underneath a chair. Simon is under the night stand hissing . Good old Ellie is literally jumping through the air from the one bed to the other and then on the TV stand. She is doing a full circle! Good night to us!
Now, when we checked in the night before, the clerk warned us about letting the cats out to roam. While the beds are on a box, there is a small opening at the head boards where cats have been known to get behind. Toni, the pro, said, "Yes, I'm aware. I just block them off before I let them out!" Okay, cool! We cat proofed the beds before letting them out. All seemed good! The first thing I did in the morning was do a cat count. I'm sure you can guess where this is going! Only 3 out of 4 cats are accounted for! Really, this is how we are going to start the day!??!?! We were optimistic and decided to get ready and pack. Surely Sidney would come out eventually. So, once everything was ready to go, we still didn't have a Sid! Toni's plan was to catch the other 3 cats and put them in the carriers. She did so with little opposition! My plan was to take a load to the car and start packing it. Of course, we didn't take a picture before we left Florida so I had to rely on memory of the day before! Then when I got back, we would call maintenance to tear the bed apart. When I returned to the room Toni met me at the door with good news/bad news. I walked in the room, and it looked a little like a bomb went off. The good news was Sid did not go under the bed after all. He had situated himself between the bed, the wall and the nightstand. The really good news was she put him in the carrier. The bad news was he managed to bust the zipper and escape. Toni fixed the carrier and was now trying to capture him again. He was pissed, and she had to throw a towel over him so he didn't bite/scratch her. She's a warrior and got it on the second try!
Our goal was to leave at 10:00 a.m.. I'm happy to report that we left at 10:06 a.m. with 4 cats a squawking just like we did the day before! I looked at Toni, and she looked at me, and both said, "Smooth jazz!" The rest of the trip was uneventful! No cat shit! No more growling, hissing or crying. As long as the music played, they were as content as could be expected. Ten hours later I was dropping Toni off at Riverside, and I drove the kitties to her house. Luckily Mark and Sondra met me there! We safely got the cats in the house! As I was leaving, they were hissing and growling again at the other two. Me, they let me know pet them and comfort them before I left. Apparently we bonded enough on our adventure that they saw me as their second mommy! I think they wanted me to stay!
While this is just another comical experience in my life , there is a lesson to be learned. Well several lessons, but we will focus on the most important one. We never know what God's plan is for us. What started as a girl's weekend quickly became a trip of love. God put me in Florida that weekend so that I could help my friend in a time of need. We found out what we are made of and we strengthen our bond. There's nothing like cat shit and smooth jazz to solidify a friendship! My birthday celebration lasted 48 hours instead of 5 days. But that's okay! There is no other placed I wanted to be! So, what about Keith? He is still in the hospital, but they have determined what ails him, and he's on the road to recovery! Hopefully he will be out tomorrow! So, say a little prayer for him tonight! And always remember that God has a plan for all of us. We just have to wait for him to present it!
Make Everyday Count.........
Denise
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