If you are a frequent reader of my blog, you know that most of my posts tend to be witty that boarder on sarcastic with a little reflection sprinkled in now and then. And quite honestly, I haven't written many in while. It's not that I don't have anything to say...we ALL know I always have something to say whether I should or not! It's just that I don't seem to have the time to sit down and write lately. One of those reasons is I spend a lot of my spare time hanging out/visiting/thinking about grandkids! In fact, one might even say I'm obsessed with them. And, I'm okay with that. You see, I never knew such a strong, unconditional, take your breath away kind of love existed until I married their PaPa and became Grandma Neese. So, now these days, my attentions are focused less on the biting observations and instead on the perils and joys of grandparenthood. (Not a real word, but that's okay!)
The past week had some high points, some low points, and things in between. This weekend I had time to reflect on many things. One question that came to mind was 'what kind of grandma am I?' What is my purpose in my grandchildren's lives? I spent some time thinking about my own grandmothers, my friends who are grandmothers, and stereotypes of grandmothers. What I realized is that all grandmothers have a purpose and what I like to call the "grandma superpower."
Let's take my Grandma Koenig for instance. Her superpower was domestication. She was a Mayberry FRD Aunt Bee kind of girl. My grandmother could cook and sew like no other. Even though I was a certified tomboy, she would make me dress after dress. I wasn't much of a girly girl, but I wore them until I developed my own style. Most of those dresses were frilly and polka dotted! The one I remember the most was a yellow swiss dot ruffled creation. It had a beautiful yellow sash with a matching hair bow. White patent shoes and ruffled socks completed the outfit. And Bonnie Koenig could cook! Oh my! My favorite memory of my grandmother is molasses cookies. They are my favorite. Every time I went to her house she would have the dough chilling in the fridge. She and I would bake them together. The smell of baking molasses cookies was and still is a comforting aroma for me. My grandma would use cooking as a way to distract me from my parents' divorce, my new blended family, my woes with friends and any other pre-teen drama. I knew that I could go to her whenever I had a problem. She may not be able to solve it, but she listened and made sure I knew I was loved.
Then there is Grandma Hershberger. Her superpower was adventure. Along with my Aunties Joyce, Joanne and Cheryl, they provided us with so many opportunities to see the world whether it was through vacations, books, outings or scavenger hunts. When my parents divorced, all 4 of these strong, independent women took it upon themselves to provide my brothers and I with experiences. They took us on our first airplane ride. They took us to the mountains, the beaches, the caverns, the amusement parks and the countryside. They educated us on the history of the United States. They made sure we had the same opportunities that other kids did. But the biggest adventure my grandmother ever took me on was in every book I've ever read. You see Carrie Hershberger passed her love of books onto me. Through her passion, I found solace in books in hard times. I have found strength during low times. I have found humor in good times. I have found the Lord in trying times. I have found reasoning skills in Nancy Drew. I have found myself in books. Just about every book I've read, I was able to find a little bit about myself in them.
All of this made me ponder my grandma skills. What is my superpower? It took me a while to figure it out. I know that I want to be the grandma that always puts their needs first. I want to be the grandma that is always helping them to learn and grow. I want to be the grandma that they will always be comfortable coming to during good and bad times. I want to be the grandma that lights up their faces when I walk into the room. So, I hope that my superpower is encouragement. I want to encourage them to always believe in themselves. I want to encourage them to try different things. I want to encourage them to be empathetic to others. I want to encourage them to be the best persons they can be.
It sounds like a tall order, and it is. I take grandparenting seriously. When I look at Bryn, Macie, Graeme, Lukas and Lily, I see little people who need their grandparents to share their superpowers with them. They definitely can't count on just one grandparent to give them everything they need because we all excel at different things. Each grandparent has a special purpose in their lives. I know that each of my grandparents enriched my life in different ways. So, tonight sit back and think about your grandma or grandpa super power. What do you bring into your grandchild's life? What did your grandparents bring into yours?
And Jordan and Shanna, I hope you have great memories of Grandma Joyce. What was her superpower? What will you always remember her by? May her superpowers sustain you as you learn to live life with only your memories.
Make Everyday Count
Denise
Sunday, September 3, 2017
Sunday, January 22, 2017
The Adventures of Grandparenting
In October I married my high school sweetheart. When I said "I do" to my man, I also said "I do" to his 3 sons, 2 daughter-in-laws, 5 (soon-to-be 6) grandchildren and 1 dog! Since I could never have children of my own, I was thrilled, if not a bit overwhelmed, with a ready made family. I tell everyone how awesome it is and how I didn't have to go through labor nor years of poverty and no sleep to have them! It is a bit tenuous navigating the ins and outs of step-children hood. The boys are all grown with families of their own. So they really don't need me as a stepmother. So, I get to fulfill the role of bonus adult in their lives. I love it because we get along and don't have to deal with the normal issues that come with smaller children. Now the best part of the deal, other than my hubby, is that I do get to be Grandma Neese to their beautiful children. ( They are small and can't pronounce Denise. It comes out as Neese. However, Macie is starting to put it all together!). This is a role that cherish! Mark says I was meant to be a grandma! I would like to think he's right because I love those little mop-heads with all my heart. However, having never raised children of my own, there is a learning curve involved to being a grandparent.
Case in point: This week my daughter-in-law, Amanda, was really sick. She was sent home from work. She works at a day care center. So it's not really a good idea for the teacher to contribute to an already whirlpool of germs and diseases! She needed to take the next day off. I offered to keep the kids for her so she could sleep and get better. After assuring her it would be fine, she gratefully agreed. Did I mention they are 3.5 and 1.5?
I told Amanda to call me when they woke up, and I would come get them. So, at 8:00 I drove down the street to get them. Did I mention they only live 5 minutes down the street? Score!! We love having them so close. Packed the kids and their sippy cups into the car and off we went. Brought them to house and made them breakfast. Now Macie is at the stage where she wants to "help"! And her little brother wants to do EVERYTHING she does. I bought them a bench that they can bring to the kitchen and help. So, they were in charge of the frozen waffles. That's right! Frozen waffles...no shame in my game! I showed Macie how to depress the latch lever. (Yes, that's what it's called. I googled it!) Graeme was so memorized they he had to investigate. He discovered if he twisted the doneness knob, the waffles would pop back up! (I made that term up! I apparently have an inexpensive, old toaster, and I couldn't find the term). So we played about 5 minutes of pop goes the waffle before I couldn't take Macie yelling at her brother and him laughing hysterically anymore! I'm glad to announce we finally ate and all was well.
After several hours of coloring, playing dinosaurs, learning to ride the tricycle, and reading books, it was time to eat again! I called their mother to get permission to take them to the mall for lunch and to play in the play area. I decided if I let them run, climb and jump at the mall everyone would be ready for a nap when we returned. Smart, right!??!?! So I called their momma and asked for permission. She questioned me as to whether or not I was up to it. I replied that I deal with a room of teenagers everyday, 2 small children would be a piece of cake! LOL! So, I got them bundle up in their coats, hats and mittens and out the door we went. As we got to the car, I realized that I forgot my diaper bag. Yep! I have my own diaper bag! So, back in the house we went. Grabbed the bag and back out the door we went. The whole time Macie is telling me to hurry up! I decided ahead of time we would eat at the Taco Bell. I'd get them kid meals. Apparently, I haven't been the mall in a while because there are only 3 restaurants open: Chinese, Japanese and Charley's. Well crap! Now I had to come up with plan B. In my wisdom, I decided that Charley's would be the best. While I was contemplating the menu, the grandbabies became little jacket rabbits! They take off in different directions to check out all of the bells and whistles in the food court. So I chased after them and corralled them between me and the counter of Charley's. I finished ordering! As they prepared our food, I found a high chair and a table close to the play area and a group of elderly grandparents. I could tell they were experienced grandparents and great-grandparents because they just kept smiling and nodding at me. I'm sure they were thinking, "girl, you are new at this arent' you!" I smiled back thinking, "I'll show you!"
Somehow I got all us and a tray of food to the table. I divvied up the food and tore it up into small pieces to cool off. I reached into my diaper bag for the sippy cups. Guess what!??! No damn sippy cups! I forgot. That's okay, we got this. So, I ran back to the counter and got two small cups, lids and straws. Macie is a champ. She can use a straw with 85% accuracy. Graeme, not so much. We struggled with who was going to hold the cup and who wasn't. I won. As he is drinking his water, I hear "Uh oh" to see Macie's cup go hurling to the floor! The table of grandparents started laughing...again! I give them a "meh" look and carried on! After we finished eating and finding the custodial staff to clean up the water, we headed to the play area. (Lunch was a success by the way! You can never good wrong with chicken tenders and french fries)
They had a blast climbing and running! Graeme especially loved me chasing him back into the play area! He did find a little girl who he was smitten with! He even tackled her to give her a hug. Once again the old people are laughing as I apologize to the little girl's dad!
Once we got home, it was naptime! Or so, I thought! Apparently they were so energized by the activity that they were still wound up. After grandma's mandatory quiet time on the couch with Paw Patrol on the TV and books in hand, Grame started to fall asleep. Miss Independent announced that she wasn't tired! Of course not, even though she kept yawning like a cat basking in the sun! So, we had some quality time at the kitchen table making get well cards for mommy and daddy and Valentine notes for PawPaw Mark. Then it was iPad time with one of the numerous games I have downloaded for her. Finally after an hour, she said she wanted to lay on the couch. But under no circumstances was she going to sleep as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. After about 15 minutes, she was asleep and snoring like a drunken sailor.
As I watched them sleep and listened to them snore, I puffed up with pride. I survived the day with these two little angels that call me Grandma. I fed them, entertained them, and got to them to nap. I would be returning them to their parents unscathed! When they woke up, I got them organized, bundled up and drove them home. As I was leaving, they both came running to me and gave me hugs and kisses. They both told me that they loved me followed by more hugs and kisses. It was in that moment I realized that I didn't survive at all. Instead I provided Macie and G-man with a day filled with love and nurturing. They didn't care about the fails of the day. They remember the fun and laughter we had. I call that winning!
I'm new to this job. I know I will make mistakes along the way. But I believe the great memories we will have will outweigh the oopses! It's an adventure I look forward to and I cherish!
Make Every Day Count
Denise
Case in point: This week my daughter-in-law, Amanda, was really sick. She was sent home from work. She works at a day care center. So it's not really a good idea for the teacher to contribute to an already whirlpool of germs and diseases! She needed to take the next day off. I offered to keep the kids for her so she could sleep and get better. After assuring her it would be fine, she gratefully agreed. Did I mention they are 3.5 and 1.5?
I told Amanda to call me when they woke up, and I would come get them. So, at 8:00 I drove down the street to get them. Did I mention they only live 5 minutes down the street? Score!! We love having them so close. Packed the kids and their sippy cups into the car and off we went. Brought them to house and made them breakfast. Now Macie is at the stage where she wants to "help"! And her little brother wants to do EVERYTHING she does. I bought them a bench that they can bring to the kitchen and help. So, they were in charge of the frozen waffles. That's right! Frozen waffles...no shame in my game! I showed Macie how to depress the latch lever. (Yes, that's what it's called. I googled it!) Graeme was so memorized they he had to investigate. He discovered if he twisted the doneness knob, the waffles would pop back up! (I made that term up! I apparently have an inexpensive, old toaster, and I couldn't find the term). So we played about 5 minutes of pop goes the waffle before I couldn't take Macie yelling at her brother and him laughing hysterically anymore! I'm glad to announce we finally ate and all was well.
After several hours of coloring, playing dinosaurs, learning to ride the tricycle, and reading books, it was time to eat again! I called their mother to get permission to take them to the mall for lunch and to play in the play area. I decided if I let them run, climb and jump at the mall everyone would be ready for a nap when we returned. Smart, right!??!?! So I called their momma and asked for permission. She questioned me as to whether or not I was up to it. I replied that I deal with a room of teenagers everyday, 2 small children would be a piece of cake! LOL! So, I got them bundle up in their coats, hats and mittens and out the door we went. As we got to the car, I realized that I forgot my diaper bag. Yep! I have my own diaper bag! So, back in the house we went. Grabbed the bag and back out the door we went. The whole time Macie is telling me to hurry up! I decided ahead of time we would eat at the Taco Bell. I'd get them kid meals. Apparently, I haven't been the mall in a while because there are only 3 restaurants open: Chinese, Japanese and Charley's. Well crap! Now I had to come up with plan B. In my wisdom, I decided that Charley's would be the best. While I was contemplating the menu, the grandbabies became little jacket rabbits! They take off in different directions to check out all of the bells and whistles in the food court. So I chased after them and corralled them between me and the counter of Charley's. I finished ordering! As they prepared our food, I found a high chair and a table close to the play area and a group of elderly grandparents. I could tell they were experienced grandparents and great-grandparents because they just kept smiling and nodding at me. I'm sure they were thinking, "girl, you are new at this arent' you!" I smiled back thinking, "I'll show you!"
Somehow I got all us and a tray of food to the table. I divvied up the food and tore it up into small pieces to cool off. I reached into my diaper bag for the sippy cups. Guess what!??! No damn sippy cups! I forgot. That's okay, we got this. So, I ran back to the counter and got two small cups, lids and straws. Macie is a champ. She can use a straw with 85% accuracy. Graeme, not so much. We struggled with who was going to hold the cup and who wasn't. I won. As he is drinking his water, I hear "Uh oh" to see Macie's cup go hurling to the floor! The table of grandparents started laughing...again! I give them a "meh" look and carried on! After we finished eating and finding the custodial staff to clean up the water, we headed to the play area. (Lunch was a success by the way! You can never good wrong with chicken tenders and french fries)
They had a blast climbing and running! Graeme especially loved me chasing him back into the play area! He did find a little girl who he was smitten with! He even tackled her to give her a hug. Once again the old people are laughing as I apologize to the little girl's dad!
Once we got home, it was naptime! Or so, I thought! Apparently they were so energized by the activity that they were still wound up. After grandma's mandatory quiet time on the couch with Paw Patrol on the TV and books in hand, Grame started to fall asleep. Miss Independent announced that she wasn't tired! Of course not, even though she kept yawning like a cat basking in the sun! So, we had some quality time at the kitchen table making get well cards for mommy and daddy and Valentine notes for PawPaw Mark. Then it was iPad time with one of the numerous games I have downloaded for her. Finally after an hour, she said she wanted to lay on the couch. But under no circumstances was she going to sleep as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. After about 15 minutes, she was asleep and snoring like a drunken sailor.
As I watched them sleep and listened to them snore, I puffed up with pride. I survived the day with these two little angels that call me Grandma. I fed them, entertained them, and got to them to nap. I would be returning them to their parents unscathed! When they woke up, I got them organized, bundled up and drove them home. As I was leaving, they both came running to me and gave me hugs and kisses. They both told me that they loved me followed by more hugs and kisses. It was in that moment I realized that I didn't survive at all. Instead I provided Macie and G-man with a day filled with love and nurturing. They didn't care about the fails of the day. They remember the fun and laughter we had. I call that winning!
I'm new to this job. I know I will make mistakes along the way. But I believe the great memories we will have will outweigh the oopses! It's an adventure I look forward to and I cherish!
Make Every Day Count
Denise
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