Saying Yes to the Dress

I'm getting married in October.  I first fell in love with Mark when I was 15 and he was 18.  Now 38 years later, here we are taking the plunge into matrimony.  With that comes planning a wedding.  My first marriage was a lovely ceremony of 4. It was exactly what I wanted.  This time around I want a wedding.  What I don't understand is why?

You see as a little girl I never dreamed of my wedding.  I never saw myself as a bride much less a gown.  I found it all just stupid and a waste of money.  In fact , well into my 40s I even hated going to weddings.  The only thing worse for me was a baby shower!  I still remember the Saturday about 10 years ago when I had to go to both on the same day!  Let's say a lot of wine was consumed at the reception.  To be honest, I just don't think I'm a sentimental kind of gal  when it comes to these time honored traditions.

And then something changed!  When I got my dissolution and moved into my apartment, I started to  watch "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC.  In fact, my neighbor Ashley, Bear-Bear (her Newfie) and I would spend Friday nights watching hours of SYTTD, drinking wine and embroidering/knitting. I have no idea why?!?!?! I wasn't seeing anyone much less looking to get married again.  We would sit and laminate about our single hood woes and drink more wine.

Fast forward:  Well, this Monday all of those episodes came in handy.  When my vacation to Europe got cancelled, I decided to use the opportunity to going dress shopping. (See blogpost Teachable Moments)  I had extra money to spend and the time off.  I assembled my posse:  June, my future mother-in-law; Toni, my friend and wedding officiant; and Shelly, one of 3 bridesmaids. Off we went to Universe Bridal and Prom in West Lafayette, Ohio.

It was crazy!  We met with Michelle our personal bridal aficionado!  She gave us the lay of the land and sent us off into one of many wedding dress rooms!  Now you would think a self proclaimed SYTTD junkie would know exactly what she wanted!  Oh hell no!  I had no idea other than I want to look good and I want to take his breath away when I walked down the aisle.  As I stood in the sea of ivory, I started to have an anxiety attack!  I felt as if I was being suffocated by miles of tulle, lace and organza!  I finally looked at my posse and said, "Girls, pick 3-4 choices each!  I can't do this!"  Those girls went to work!  Next thing I knew, I had about 15 dresses to try on.

Now girls, listen up.  Trying on dresses requires Herculean strength!  Some of those dresses weigh pounds!  And let's be honest, plus size dresses have to be heavier because there's more fabulousness to cover! At one point I thought I may have torn my rotartor's cuff!  Ouchy!  And then there was the unfortunate trapped in the dress situation!  Ladies, if you find yourselves dress shopping, please be sure to check the size of the dress you are putting on before sliding it over your head!  If you're trying to squeeze your size 16 body into a size 12 dress, it's going to  go all bad!  It caused me to have a second anxiety attack when I couldn't disengage from it!  I thought I was going to live that damn dress for the rest of my life!  Thank goodness for Shelly!  She came to my rescue and freed me from my prison.  Unfortunately poor Shelly will never be able to unseen what she saw in order to release me from the sea of organza!

After many auditions, THE dress appeared.  I put it on and it was the front runner.  But it was missing something!  So, my Randy/Monte, Michelle, "jacked me up" her style.  She brought me a blinged out belt and tied it on.  She turned me around and it happened.  The aha moment happened.  The skies opened up and the angels began to sing.  I had found the dress!  And then the most freaky thing happened!  I cried!   Say what??!?!?!  I just stood there and was flabbergasted!  I just had this feeling that overcame me and all I could think of was Mark.  I don't know if it was the realization that I am actually going to marry the love of my life.  Or if menopause has turned me into a hormonal mess!  What I do know is that I had a wonderful time and I can't wait until October!

So, the moral of this story is that no matter how old you are you can still find the love of your life.  When that love comes along your whole out look on life changes.  Now I'm dreaming of that wedding that I never knew I would ever want.  May be because I'm older, I can live in the moment and enjoy it more.  I look forward to all of the decisions coming my way!

Make Everyday Count....
Denise

Teachable Moments

The bags are packed for Scotland and England.  The rain coats and toe/hand warmers are bought. The British pounds and my passport are ensconced in their secret hiding places.  The phone is internationally prepared to receive and send text messages.  The itinerary is set.  My traditional night before I leave poem is written.  The credit card company is properly notified so that I can spend oodles of money.  The departure time is set. The enthusiasm is overflowing.  Everything is ready to go, but for one important thing.

Us.  We are no longer going.  Due to the recent ISIS attack in Brussels, our school district had to make an extremely hard decision.  Should we carry through with our plans to give our students an educational experience of a lifetime and  risk the lives of our students and chaperones?  Or should we stay on US soil where we may or may not be safer?  In the end our administration decided that keeping our students and parents safe and sound was the number 1 priority.  In light of the events today, it was the right, but heartbreaking decision.

So at 9:45 today, we found ourselves in the  unfortunate position of having to inform parents and students that we were no longer going on a trip of a life time.  The tears and the disappointment on their faces was heart breaking.  The journey they all started planning two years ago is now a broken dream. What should have been an experience like no other became a teachable moment in world affairs.   Instead of crossing the pond as an excited, anxious group, we are now a disappointed group grounded on Ohio turf.  Instead of learning about British parliament and the Magna Carta, we are now teaching them about homeland security.  Instead of being awestruck by the magnificence of Stonehenge, we are now teaching them about the rubble of terrorism.  Instead of enjoying the musical, "Thriller" on the London stage, we are now teaching them about the horrifying images seen on TV.  Instead of experiencing the hospitality of the British population, we are now teaching them about the evilness of a small group of people.  Instead of creating happy lifetime memories, we are now teaching them how to deal with the sad reality of the world.

The reality of this situation is that it is a teachable moment. No matter how you look at it, we are showing them the world.  Unfortunately, it isn't the world we wanted to show them.  We wanted to let them learn about the magnitude of history that is Europe.  We wanted them to experience various cultures.  We wanted to give them international travel.  We wanted to expose them to different foods. We wanted to watch them blossom and grow in confidence.  We wanted to show then how to embrace the world around them.  Instead we are teaching them about a world that isn't always kind.  We are teaching them that there are groups out there that take pleasure in harming others.  We are teaching them about world politics.  We are teaching about how actions in foreign countries have an effect on a little rural school district in Ohio.

But we are also teaching them about the resilience of humanity.  If we can't take our trip, I hope we can find the positive in such an evil doing.  In all of the tragedy, I know we will learn about compassion.  Over the hours, days and weeks, we will see the good stories about humans helping humans in the midst of disaster.  We will see people loving one another.  We hear stories of random acts of kindness.  We will see people rebuild their lives.  We will see new ways of fighting evilness.  We will see our governments work together to end this way of life.  We will work to rebuild trust in our mankind.  We will see hope in the eyes and hearts of good people of the world.

We will teach our children to how to feel safe again.  We will teach them to love their world around them and embrace it with compassion.

To all of the people of Belgium, you are in my thoughts and prayers.  It breaks my heart to see the images on TV.   I know you will rebound and grow from this situation.  You will become stronger people in the face of this tragedy.  You will show us how to live again.

Make Every Day Count.....
Denise