I am a fat girl. I know that people try to come up with cute little names to help soften the truth. I'm sorry. I am not fluffy. I am not chubby. Nor am I chunky, plump, round or big-boned. I am fat. Actually, by the medical profession, I am obese. I'll admit I don't like obese, but the BMI says that I am. Whatever you want to call it, I am okay with it. Would I like to be thinner? Of course, but not if it means I have to eat carrots and drink water 24/7! I like food! I appreciate a good gourmet meal...thanks to my 2 brothers who happen to be chefs as well as my mother who can cook Hunky food like no other!
So, what has my granny panties in bunch now? It's what I call the 'fat girl woes'. This usually happens when I'm shopping for clothes or shoes! I set out to spend lots of money on a new wardrobe or kicks only to end up at home with one or two purses! A fat girl can rock any purse!!! I'm just saying! Well, the fat girl woes struck again today. If you are a regular read, you know that I am a closet Barbie. (See blog post: In The Closet). I love fashion and if I had a killer body and money, I would be rocking the fashion world. But when you are fat, or obese as Dr. Ersham puts it, it's not always easy to find the perfect clothes. So for me to go out and shop for clothes and shoes, I have to really want it. The current fashion trend are fashion boots. I'm in love with all of the styles of boots right now....rain boots, cowboy boots, high-heels, high thighs, etc. I have been debating for months now if I could wear boots. Being fat you have to consider all of the angles....skinny jeans or not, stretch pants or not, tights or not, sweater dresses or not? You have to analyze what will make your thighs look like tree stumps or what will make your ass look like a neon billboard.
I made the decision today that I could wear boots. They would have to be understated and I would have to wear them with the right pants, but it would work. How hard could it be to find a pair of freaking boots? After all the stores have entire boot sections with 20-30 styles on display. Well, apparently I was greatly mistaken! You see if you are a fat girl, you most likely need wide calf boots!!!! That's right, it's like trying to fit the step sister's foot into Cinderella's slipper! After 3 attempts, I gave up! One store had a couple of wide calf boots, but they looked like something a hooker would wear. Went to another store and they had 1 style left but only in 3 sizes. The third one had some, but I'm not willing to go into debt to own them.
As I was driving home, I started thinking about the dilemma I was in. Here's the thought: Is the shoe industry ignoring the plus size women when designing boots? Or is everyone wearing the wide calf and not the skinny girl designs? Or is someone telling me that fat girls are not meant to wear boots? May be somebody out there is thinking about me. They don't want me to look like a tree on a neon flashing billboard!!! I'm not giving up though. This weekend I'm going to make trip to Columbus and DSW and a few other stores. Surely there is a pair of wide calf kicks with my name on them. Of course, if I find them, then I have to start the process of finding a pair of pants to go with them. More fat girl woes!!! By the time I find the boots and pants, the trend will be so last year and out of style!!! Oh well, wearing styles out of fashion has never bothered me before. After all, I'm not afraid to wear white after summer!!! Such a rebel.
Make Every Day Count...
Denise
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
My Love Affair with Chris Spielman!
My inner cougar had a wee bit of a crush on the one and only, Chris Spielman. After the events of Monday, October 15, that crush has been elevated to love affair status! Now just in case you live under a rock or are an illegal alien, Chris Spielman is an ESPN college football analyst as well as a former NFL lineman and OSU Football Hall of Famer. And he is gorgeous!!! When he wears his blue shirt with those awesome glasses on Saturdays, my inner cougar does back flips!
Last Monday my friend Toni and I attended the Chris Spielman's Football for Females Breast Cancer Research fundraiser. It was a small intimate setting at KBD at Easton in Columbus. The premise was to teach women about the ins and outs of football. There were raffles and autographed souvenirs to purchase. All proceeds went to the Stefanie Spielman Breast Cancer Fund. I have wanted to attend the event for the last 2 years, but it fills up so fast. This year I found success! So off Toni and I went. We found seats relatively close to the front. We shared a table with some really fun ladies from Chillicothe! I'm not the only cougar out there with some lustful thoughts of Chris. These girls drove 2 hours!!! Chris began with an informational talk about the cutting edge research the Stefanie Spielman Fund is conducting. They are working on chemotherapy that actually attacks the cancer and not the entire body. Afterwards, he asked for a volunteer who would like to be his tackle dummy! H-E-L-L-O!!!!!!! Who do you think had her hand raised before he got the entire sentence out!?!?!?!? Of course, my inner goddess and I were chumping at the bit. Luckily, he called on me. Unluckily for him he called on me. He had no idea what he just got himself into!
He began explaining there are 3 different ways to tackle a receiver. I have absolutely no idea what he was saying. All I could think about that I was on stage with Chris Spielman and any minute he would have his hands on me!!!!! The inner goddess was jumping up and down. So, he demonstrated the first tackle by wrapping his arms around my waist. I yelled, "Woo-hoo"! He looked at me and said, "Denise you don't woo-hoo when someone tackles you." I replied, " You do if you are a 50 year old woman and Chris Spielman just wrapped his arms around you!" He laughed. I laughed. Everyone laughed. I'm pretty sure he was wishing right then that he had chosen someone else! In the meantime, my inner goddess was passed out on the couch from the excitement! He proceeded to explain and demonstrate 2 more types of tackles. I have to be honest. I have absolutely no freaking idea what he said the rest of the time. I was on cloud nine, and smiling that shitty grin I have! As I sat down, Chris yelled, "Hey Denise, are you married?" I said, "Yes for 26 years." He said, "Do you woo-hoo when your husband tackles you at home?" I just laughed. Chris said, "I'll take that as a no. So you go home and tell your husband that I, Chris Spielman, got a woo-hoo!" I did, but Rick was just annoyed! He was quite sure that I did everything in my power to embarrass myself! I told him I did not, but that inner cougar may have done something inappropriate! LOL!
While the one-on-one physical contact was thrilling, it wasn't the only reason I went from a crush to a love affair that night. As Chris answered questions from the audience, it became quite clear that he was a man of God who loved his wife and family more than anything else. He was now a single dad of 4 trying to do the best he could while furthering the fight against breast cancer. When he was asked why he wasn't coaching some where, he replied, " I can't be the dad I want to be if I'm never home and I promised my wife I would continue her battle in hopes that no other husband and child would lose their wife and mother. Folks, it doesn't get any better than that, now does it? My inner goddess had the ugly cry going on as her heart melted. I bought two copies of his book, "That's Why I'm Here". It is a look at his career and how Stefanie's cancer changed his whole way of thinking and brought him to the man he is now. I have to say the book is definitely going on my list of must read books. Not because he wrote it and I'm in love with him, but because it is an honest look at how God brought him to where he is now. He autographed the books. One of them was for me and the other one was for my sister-in-law Dawn who is in her own battle with breast cancer. He asked me questions about her and he genuinely cared. He penned a personal note to her in her book. I sent it to her. She is having a rough patch right now. When she read his words to her, she admitted that she cried like a baby. She was so touched by what he had to say to her. Is your inner goddess teary-eyed now, too?!?!?!?
Who knew that night I would have such a multi-layered experience. I went expecting to drool from the audience and learn about football. Instead, I got man-handled by an OSU Hall of Famer, supported a good cause, learned about one man's journey and gained a new respect for the man who loves his wife and children. Ladies, they don't get much better than Chris Spielman. My inner goddess and I are still recovering from that night. It is an exhausting love affair.
Make Every Day Count......
Denise
PS: So Toni and I got together today for lunch. It was for the first time we had a chance to chat since our awesome night out. So, I asked her if I made an ass of myself. She laughed and said no, much to Rick's chagrin! He was convinced I had totally embarrassed myself. After all 27 years of experience would definitely lead one to believe I had!! She also bought a book and had it autographed. She told Chris that she had come to the event with me. I'm sure she probably felt the need to apologize for me! Chris told her that I was a lot of fun and he enjoyed himself! Oh, you should see my inner goddess! She is strutting down the sidewalk smoking a cigarette!
Last Monday my friend Toni and I attended the Chris Spielman's Football for Females Breast Cancer Research fundraiser. It was a small intimate setting at KBD at Easton in Columbus. The premise was to teach women about the ins and outs of football. There were raffles and autographed souvenirs to purchase. All proceeds went to the Stefanie Spielman Breast Cancer Fund. I have wanted to attend the event for the last 2 years, but it fills up so fast. This year I found success! So off Toni and I went. We found seats relatively close to the front. We shared a table with some really fun ladies from Chillicothe! I'm not the only cougar out there with some lustful thoughts of Chris. These girls drove 2 hours!!! Chris began with an informational talk about the cutting edge research the Stefanie Spielman Fund is conducting. They are working on chemotherapy that actually attacks the cancer and not the entire body. Afterwards, he asked for a volunteer who would like to be his tackle dummy! H-E-L-L-O!!!!!!! Who do you think had her hand raised before he got the entire sentence out!?!?!?!? Of course, my inner goddess and I were chumping at the bit. Luckily, he called on me. Unluckily for him he called on me. He had no idea what he just got himself into!
 |
| Chris Spielman and Me! |
He began explaining there are 3 different ways to tackle a receiver. I have absolutely no idea what he was saying. All I could think about that I was on stage with Chris Spielman and any minute he would have his hands on me!!!!! The inner goddess was jumping up and down. So, he demonstrated the first tackle by wrapping his arms around my waist. I yelled, "Woo-hoo"! He looked at me and said, "Denise you don't woo-hoo when someone tackles you." I replied, " You do if you are a 50 year old woman and Chris Spielman just wrapped his arms around you!" He laughed. I laughed. Everyone laughed. I'm pretty sure he was wishing right then that he had chosen someone else! In the meantime, my inner goddess was passed out on the couch from the excitement! He proceeded to explain and demonstrate 2 more types of tackles. I have to be honest. I have absolutely no freaking idea what he said the rest of the time. I was on cloud nine, and smiling that shitty grin I have! As I sat down, Chris yelled, "Hey Denise, are you married?" I said, "Yes for 26 years." He said, "Do you woo-hoo when your husband tackles you at home?" I just laughed. Chris said, "I'll take that as a no. So you go home and tell your husband that I, Chris Spielman, got a woo-hoo!" I did, but Rick was just annoyed! He was quite sure that I did everything in my power to embarrass myself! I told him I did not, but that inner cougar may have done something inappropriate! LOL!
While the one-on-one physical contact was thrilling, it wasn't the only reason I went from a crush to a love affair that night. As Chris answered questions from the audience, it became quite clear that he was a man of God who loved his wife and family more than anything else. He was now a single dad of 4 trying to do the best he could while furthering the fight against breast cancer. When he was asked why he wasn't coaching some where, he replied, " I can't be the dad I want to be if I'm never home and I promised my wife I would continue her battle in hopes that no other husband and child would lose their wife and mother. Folks, it doesn't get any better than that, now does it? My inner goddess had the ugly cry going on as her heart melted. I bought two copies of his book, "That's Why I'm Here". It is a look at his career and how Stefanie's cancer changed his whole way of thinking and brought him to the man he is now. I have to say the book is definitely going on my list of must read books. Not because he wrote it and I'm in love with him, but because it is an honest look at how God brought him to where he is now. He autographed the books. One of them was for me and the other one was for my sister-in-law Dawn who is in her own battle with breast cancer. He asked me questions about her and he genuinely cared. He penned a personal note to her in her book. I sent it to her. She is having a rough patch right now. When she read his words to her, she admitted that she cried like a baby. She was so touched by what he had to say to her. Is your inner goddess teary-eyed now, too?!?!?!?
Who knew that night I would have such a multi-layered experience. I went expecting to drool from the audience and learn about football. Instead, I got man-handled by an OSU Hall of Famer, supported a good cause, learned about one man's journey and gained a new respect for the man who loves his wife and children. Ladies, they don't get much better than Chris Spielman. My inner goddess and I are still recovering from that night. It is an exhausting love affair.
Make Every Day Count......
Denise
PS: So Toni and I got together today for lunch. It was for the first time we had a chance to chat since our awesome night out. So, I asked her if I made an ass of myself. She laughed and said no, much to Rick's chagrin! He was convinced I had totally embarrassed myself. After all 27 years of experience would definitely lead one to believe I had!! She also bought a book and had it autographed. She told Chris that she had come to the event with me. I'm sure she probably felt the need to apologize for me! Chris told her that I was a lot of fun and he enjoyed himself! Oh, you should see my inner goddess! She is strutting down the sidewalk smoking a cigarette!
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